#this is productive for me. i needed this. Don't even worry yourselves -.-

[lunarharp]

something beyond me (scribbly comic follow-up to that thing)

[blues824]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa do you watch vtubers? i saw the requests were open and was gonna request housewardens with a reader like vox akuma but i was hesitant because i didn't know if you watched vtubers or not. twst and nijisanji(en) are my big hyperfixations rn and I put vox's streams on in the background while im playing. (you don't need to watch vox's streams to get his persona down if you wanna do this request actually. watching 'the vox akuma experience' on youtube would be enough ;-;)

I do watch VTubers! Ninomae ina’nis was the first one I’ve watched since I had a request a while back, and that brought me into the world of Vtubers. Gender-neutral reader.

Riddle Rosehearts

When he heard that you were a voice demon, he thought you were something akin to a siren, but in demon form. He appreciated how you dressed very formally, and how you remained polite in all of your interactions.

Then you started getting comfortable with being in Twisted Wonderland. That’s when you busted out the lewd and crass jokes, the flirty comments, etc. and he was just so freaking flustered all of the time. You even once got close to his ear and said that his shoelace wasn’t tied in a very seductive manner just to mess with him.

He would’ve collared you by now if you weren’t a demon who could easily overpower him. You had battle experience that he has only read of, so you were nearly indestructible. You never took your amusement too far, though. After all, you didn’t want your beloved queen to get too angry.

You and Trey team up to make meals for Heartslabyul. Riddle tries to help you both (because he’s jealous whenever you two hang out by yourselves in the kitchen), and he’s not all that bad. You don’t play pranks on him like the Vice Housewarden. The Housewarden absolutely loves every type of food you make.

Leona Kingscholar

At first appearance, he thought you had a stick up your ass. I mean, you had a very formal way of speaking, plus you dressed in a suit every single day. However, he eventually found out that you were the exact opposite person he thought you were.

You both got to a point that you flirted with each other more than you just casually talked to each other. One thing that became apparent was that you both were very competitive in charm and seduction and would always try to make each other flustered.

He doesn’t mind the fact that you are a demon, as long as you don’t do anything that annoys him or disrupts the productivity of his dormitory. The chances of that happening are very slim because you’re usually napping with him.

He loves the dishes you cook for him, even if it contains vegetables. You somehow make the veggies taste so good that his mouth waters when he smells the food. You have essentially replaced Ruggie in the Savanaclaw kitchen with your awesome cooking.

Azul Ashengrotto

If you weren’t a voice demon, he would have tried to find a way to get you under a contract. Unfortunately, your magic was demonic and therefore not the type of magic that can be taken away like that. He also appreciated how you dressed formally no matter the occasion.

When you started bringing out the flirting and the lewd jokes, he was more flustered than he has ever been in his whole entire life. He couldn’t even imagine returning the behavior since he stuttered trying to talk to you in general.

He also doesn’t mind that you are a demon. In fact, with your permission, he uses it as a threat to other customers who don’t comply with the rules of the Lounge. It tends to scare off unwanted people, and helps profit stay stable.

Azul asked if you wanted to try cooking for the Mostro Lounge because your food was really good and could probably sell. You made gourmet food, which is much different than they originally had on their menu. So, your cooking went on a secret menu.

Kalim Al-Asim

He wasn’t wary of you at all. He thought your clothes were interesting because surely you must get hot in that suit. Then he grew worried whenever you visited Scarabia since it was always hot in the desert that was the dorm.

He absolutely had no idea what you were saying or trying to do when you were trying to flirt with him until Jamil explained it to him. That is when his face just goes completely red and he feels so dumb. He mentally beats himself up for not getting what you said at the moment you said it.

This continues and he is just so flustered all the freaking time. You were just flirting with him over and over. He eventually uses his innocent charm to compliment you and ‘flirt’ with you in return, but he always fails to make you blush. 

He wishes he could eat your food, but he doesn’t know if it is poisoned or not. So, you offer to have Jamil watch you cook so that everyone is sure you didn’t sneak anything into the meal. He is so happy, and when his Vice Housewarden gives the ‘ok’, he digs in and is in love with all the different flavors.

Vil Schoenheit 

He almost squealed in excitement when he saw how good you looked. You knew how to dress very well, you did your makeup well to accentuate your features, you were basically his dream significant other. He praised any higher being above that you walked into his life.

You both tend to flirt with each other since it proves to boost self-esteem. Everyone besides Rook gag at how lovey dovey you are. The hunter volunteers to be the flower girl at your wedding (reminds me of when Hercules Mulligan was the flower girl at Hamilton’s wedding, iykyk).

He also doesn’t mind that you are a demon. It wasn’t like you would go ballistic and slay everyone out of nowhere, so he was relaxed around you. You often play as his voice of reason with all the wisdom you’ve accumulated over the years.

You both work to promote healthier eating, and you try to cook for the dorm and have a few of the Pomefiore members help out. You refuse to cook fish since you don’t like the smell or taste, you just incorporate more of other foods to replace it and Vil is okay with it. He can tell that the entire dorm is just a bit healthier as well.

Idia Shroud

He most definitely squealed because you looked and acted like his favorite VTuber Koe Daemonium. Mans worshiped you. He considered himself as one of your kindred, and when you told him that he was your lover after a while, he nearly died of joy.

Idia gets nose-bleeds whenever you act more seductive or lewd. Ortho always thinks that he’s having a brain aneurysm and tries to perform medical aid only for you to tell him that he was just a tad flustered.

He also doesn’t mind that you are a demon, what he’s worried about is you taking a liking to someone else and leaving him for them. He is insecure and shy, so he wouldn’t be very surprised if you picked someone over him, and this worries you. So you make a vow to him to always make him feel loved.

One way you do that is you make him food, and good food at that. You were aware that he didn’t get adequate enough nutrients in his diet, so you fixed that problem for him. Idia reported feeling better than he had in a long time, and you were glad that you could be a part of the process.

Malleus Draconia

Oh, goodness. We have a demon and a dragon; in my mind, they are both very possessive creatures, and it shows with you and Malleus. You like to make sure that you both will be safe when one of you is going somewhere without the other.

He doesn’t understand what you are trying to do when you flirt or say something lewd to him, so Lilia kind of has to act as a translator. Of course, he tries his best not to get flustered when he finally understands what you were trying to say. Instead, he reciprocates your affection.

Lilia absolutely adores having chats with you. You both have past battle experience, you enjoy gaming, and you both dress well. Silver likes hanging out with you and sparring against you. Sebek absolutely despises you, and it’s mostly because you are a demon and therefore “aren’t a good example for Waka-sama”. You didn’t care, though.

Everyone became grateful for you when you took over cooking, saying that Lilia deserved a break. The old fae didn’t mind being treated by his future child-in-law, and the food you made was heavenly (get it?). Malleus makes a big deal, saying how the future co-ruler of the Briar Valley shouldn’t have to cook for anybody, but you laugh it off and say that it’s fine.

[lillysilvermoon]

Intuitive message for you

Pile 1 (water cave) | Pile 2 (girl and sea) | Pile 3 (earth dragon) | Pile 4 (Pink Fae)

Pile 1

Signs: 6666, 4, 44, 333, 3333, 5, 55, good skills involving hands, black hair.

If you choose this Pile probably you are having some kind of problem to trust someone. There is two young guys, one of them isn't very trustworthy so you need to let your eyes opening! The one with black hair is some you can relay on, the other one... I don't think he is bad, but probably have problems with jealousy which can be dangerous if it's too much. In matter of material stuff you can trust him.

Girl you need to see beyond the veil, your illusions about this situation are making you blind, you need to wake up. I'm seriously, has been too long... look, I know it's difficult to look to our shadows, but IT IS NEEDED. You won't go anywhere if you continue pretending everything is fine when clearly is not child. Stop living by illusions and start to see reality. Dreams are awesome! But stop living in your head and begin to make them your reality. You will be very disappointed if you don't start quickly. You have all support you need, we are right here with you. Just ask for help and we will help.

P.S: stop being so rude with others, people own nothing to you and have nothing to do with your problems. You'll end up alone if continue doing this with your friends.

Crystal oracle: Pyrite. Brings you new ideas and to connect you with the opportunities you need.

(Damn... I think someone here are doing something very wrong,,,, whatever it is, your guides love you a lot and they are just worried, I know the message sounds though, but the energy was like they/she/he (I think was more than one) feels anxious like they all know you can do this but you aren't give yourself a real chance and they are all worried) you can do this Pile 1, really. You just have to do the first step.

Pile 2

Signs: pink (I felt pink bubble happy energy lmao and I saw like a pink energy in my minds eye), roses, blond hair, caramel macchiato, Starbucks phineas&Ferb (omg has been SO LONG since I watched this, I used to love as a kid), 444, 555, 333, 1, 66

I think this is my romance Pile but let's see.

She needs to have more patience, relationships take time, to build trust and a solid foundation. This things takes TIME. You can't expect him to just be comfortable with so little time. Besides, are you focus on YOUR stuff??? Your had so many goals but now you are acting like this man it's all your life. Sweet, he likes you a lot, but if you start to make him your only priority the universe you make sure you don't see him for a while (I'm sense some distance like you live in a city and he lives in other. Hmm, I think this is not something to worry about, you look like someone who has many goals and ideas. You just need to go back to balance, it's not to stop likes him or anything just... don't like by this relationship ok?) You need to learn about moderation and balance. Talk to him, go on dates but have your own life. You don't need to talk to him every time neither go out with him every weekend. Even tho if it's the only time you can see him, enjoy your friends too, do your things. It's all about balance.

Also, this message here it's not for the romance group, it's for some of you that are overworking yourselves. Stop doing this, work smarter not more. Doing hours and hours of something it's not productive, it's being stupid (this is not me but I agree) you are just stressing your body and debilitating your health. You will end up burn out or sick. You, like the other person, need to learn about balance, but in your case has nothing to do with relationship, has to do with you thinking doing much is doing better when it is not. You need to create balance between work and have some fun. And stop trying to controlling everything god damn. Learn to follow the flow because you can't control everything and do you even stop to think that, sometimes, you didn't get it not because you are not good enough but because you were TOO GOOD for this and deserved AWAY BETTER?????? Because that's it.

Crystal oracle: blue quartz. Brings you harmony and work your communication. Talk about what/how you feel will help to improve your relationships.

(It's a young woman your guide and I liked her energy a lot lmao I'm laughing here she is too funny)

Pile 3

Signs: dragons, elementals kingdom, green, 6666, 22, 33, 444, green areas, spells, rituals, moon goddess, candle magick and celtic traditions.

Some of you want or are trying to work with dragons and the elemental kingdom (I think maybe you should check out Pile 4) and you need to go inwards. Look, for some maybe you need to have some introspection moment to realize WHY you want to work with them (I feel like for this group is because you motivation isn't right, like, you think you want to work with them for a reason but actually it's not this and you will find out with some introspection) in the other hand the other group here are focusing too much on material stuff (like altar, rituals, offerings etc) which are all important but to work with them you need to meditate, that's the better way to communicate with them. Yeah, is this simply but you don't believe in me so here I am having to give you the message through other person (lmaooooooo I don't know who it is but they are like "why this child just don't listen to me?? I need to say the SAME thing through OTHER PERSON to be heard?? I'm sorry but I'm laughing I got you Pile 2, really🤣).

Well, you have everything you need to talk to them. I feel like this Pile works with a moon goddess, maybe it's her who try's to say this but you don't listen lol, I think this is my witch Pile (high five 🙌💗)

If you are not a witch or are trying to contact the dragons, you are a part of the very small group who chose this because you are needing some time off, you can meditate but it's not what you are being asked, it's literally turn off your phone and go outside, think about the things you need to figure out, having this time off, alone, will help.

Crystal Oracle: aquamarine. Has a very soft energy and help to calm your mind. When you have bad thoughts say to yourself "this thought isn't mine"

Pile 4

Signs: new age spirituality, gold ray, astral fairies (? I don't know if it's exactly this the name but,,,), angel energy (I don't work with them, but I think it's archangel zadkiel because is the name I heard....), 3, 333, 3333 (it's a number of luck, your angel are trying to say to you to maintain hope, this is really your Pile in case you were between 2 piles, is really this one. This number talks about optimism because things are getting better)

It's a HUNDRED PERCENT angel energy, your card has an angel in it (and it's literally the ONLY ONE in my deck which has an angel lmao).

Okay, I'll put EXACTLY what is written in my book of the deck because I feel its needed: "Now is a time of resurrection and awakening, a time when a period of your life comes to an absolute end making away for dynamic new beginnings"

We ask you to tune into higher frequencies, you jumped so many timelines so fast and we know you are tired, but this all will past. There is so much joy and happiness on the horizon (I saw a beach and the ocean color omg looks like Hawaii but maybe can be a place you visited in meditation or astral travel and it's not here on earth). We are always with you, and we know what happened was hard to deal, but you made it and we are very proud. Don't give up now child, you can do this. And we can help, but you need to maintain your energy care, it's not good for you and will do no good if you fall back into your old behaviors, and we know you know. Talk to us, we continue here.

(I think you have so guide/work with a astral fae who looks like the one in the picture). I think it's just this, they want you to know you are not alone and never will be, but when you do whatever you do that low your frequency they can't reach you (and I want you to know that it's okay, you are just human and maintain a high frequency it's had, you have my support and virtual hug. But try your best okay? I believe in you too Pile 4, really y'all have a very good energy, feel lots of joy and I think this is my empath Pile - I feel you🥺💗)

Crystal Oracle: rose quartz. When was the last time you really faced your feelings? Sweep it under the rug block your heart chakra harms your body. This crystal brings you emotional balance and self-care. Your emotions are a reflection of your current state of mind.

[learnfromarnold]

What's up, fam? It's your boy, LearnFromArnold, coming at you with another dose of knowledge. Today, we're talking about the importance of taking breaks.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Arnold, if I take a break, won't I fall behind? Won't I lose my edge?" Trust me, I hear you. But here's the thing: taking breaks isn't about slacking off. It's about recharging your batteries so you can come back stronger than ever.

Think of it like this: you wouldn't expect a car to run forever without refueling, right? Same goes for your brain. It needs time to rest and refuel, or it'll burn out faster than a matchstick in a hurricane.

So, next time you feel guilty for taking a break, remind yourself that it's not laziness—it's self-care. And trust me, your future self will thank you for it.

But don't take my word for it. Science backs this up, too. Studies show that taking breaks can actually boost productivity and creativity. So, if you're feeling stuck or unmotivated, maybe it's time to step away from the screen and go for a walk, or read a book, or even take a nap. Your brain will thank you for it.

And hey, if you're worried about falling behind, just remember: it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. The tortoise may be slow, but he always wins in the end.

Alright, that's it for today. Remember to take care of yourselves, fam. LearnFromArnold out.

[c0smiccom3t]

Dimension Dyfenders Update!! (9/20/23)

HEY, HEY, it's September! You know what that means! (read the above)

Hello D.D fandom, hello followers, mutuals, friends and hello people who curiously stumbled upon this post. You all know who i am, but for those who don't, let me introduce myself. My name's Comet. I'm the co-creator and main artist in the indie webcomic series Dimension Dyfenders! As of right now, i'm attending art school and trying my best to work more on the webcomic while also attending on my studies and get better grades. Now, you might ask, "Comet, what's going on with this series now?", "Why haven't been there more pocket adventures minisode 1 parts lately?" Well, i got the answers right here! First of all, let's start with the most obvious one... The Pocket Adventures situation.

Now, Pocket Adventures hasnt been online as of late, no next parts were being published, and im very sorry for that. The cause for it is the loss of motivation i had, which made me not work on it for a long while. Even when making new panels i feel extremely tired. Feeling like i should do something else (heck, i feel insecure about its panels when i draw them!) But fret not, that doesn't mean Pocket Adventures is getting cancelled. We still have loads of plans on the table and we can't wait to roll them out. But for now, we're taking a break due to IRL situations for example, art school. We, the team, have lives outside of making d.d content. We need to get our degrees and, well, try to survive life. But no worries, because I got plans to get back on D.D P.A Minisode 1 and finish it completely once winter break hits. As long as my motivation gets out of its hibernation phase. But still, i can't wait for you all to see the conclusion to minisode 1. (I just hope you dont mind if i jump right into the 'new designs' in the next pages)

Speaking of minisodes, I've been thinking of releasing minisodes only once a year than every saturday. Though this decision is not final yet. I don't want clout, in fact, i just wanna do what I love. Create stories and comics for everybody to enjoy. But if you guys would love for a minisode to release once a year or once in 3 months, let me know your opinions! Your criticism helps this series, especially its production, grow better!

Now, for the second and final question you may have asked… Thing is, Nothing has changed! But well, if you know me on my social media for my recent Crash Bandicoot fanart, then you might notice that Crash 4: It's About Time, especially it's artbook (and concept art by Nicola Saviori)... Has affected my artstyle, DRASTICALLY. So. The characters, of course, have went through some changes. I'd like to call this new artstyle... "The TFB Effect". As a matter of fact, Dimension Dyfenders (both its miniseries and full series) is going to have a brand new, more cartoony, zanier than ever artstyle! Don't believe me? See for yourselves. Starting with the main ones!

I decided to add a little bit of the good ol' Squash and Stretch to the characters to make them stand out more in the next comics. So of course, some of the colors have changed, especially designs and bodytypes. Oh, and not just that, our heroes have some new stuff, too! For example: Knockout's Dyfender Element is now refered as "Quantum Strenght", Paintdrop's is called "Cosmic Creativity" and Speedrunner's is called "Light Speed". Neat upgrades, eh? (Still, criticism is accepted.) Anyway, notice that in the first picture above there's something that says: "Dyfender Mode", right? Well, if you see that, that's because we are introducing something brand new to our heroes. Called: Omni-modes.

Now, "what are Omni-modes?", you may ask? Well, Omni-modes are modes that are set on the Dyfenders' Dy-watches, you may see that the Omni-Modes are, of course, the Dyfenders' alternate hero forms, to help them take on a mission in a different, more suitable form. When the day needs to be saved during night time (and rarely past bedtime), they activate Night Mode. For sunny beach days but still wanting to make sure nobody figures out their secret identities, Acqua Mode will be at their service. There are tons of different Omni-Modes to be shown (Especially, Pride mode, which was shown on this year's pride post.) So, yeah. Omni-modes will be shown in both the miniseries AND the full series!

Oh! And refering to characters, we can't forget about our main bad guys! Oh, you know, the Dajo-Crew? They got a bit of a make over to fit to the current artstyle! (ft. the updated height chart):

Now that we got that out of the way. let's just head over what will the future of the series look like as of right now. Starting off with the full series and pocket adventures. As said before, Dimension Dyfenders' artstyle changed. But that doesn't mean everything changed, things may be different (the more cartoony artstyle and the sillier tone), but nothing about the series has changed! And that means..

MORE POCKET ADVENTURES IS HAPPENING, THAT'S RIGHT! MORE D.D CONTENT COMING THIS WAY!

As for right now, D.D Minisode 1 may still be in development as we speak, but one thing that's completed right now is the script! Now that its finally finished, all thats left, is the panel and comic page-making (hopefully you wont mind the sudden character design changes, though.)! But in the meantime! We got some sneak peaks for not just one of the panels from the next minisode 1 pages, but also a never-seen before panel from the next minisodes of pocket adventures! (notice: some of these are not final and may change in the final product.)

That's not all! this franchise has got some new stuff coming in during it's run. We got so many plans, but this is the only thing we can show about said plans:

As you can see, you're gonna see some new characters in pocket adventures. While in the full series, you'll get some new characters too. Except... New baddies will be only in the full series, while in the miniseries then later in the animated series... You'll get to meet some new allies! So, keep your eyes peeled for them! And we hope you like them as much as we do.

Now, D.D has never shown a sign of stopping, even during hiatuses, so im happy to announce that more Pocket Adventures will be on their way after Minisode 1 has completed production! We're thinking of putting the upload dates on hold (which means, minisode 2 is delayed until further notice, sorry guys.). So please be patient when waiting for new minisodes.

And speaking of patience... I think I got a little something to keep you guys busy with while you wait... Introducing…

DIMENSION DYFENDERS TOONIES!

Now, you may be wondering: "What is THIS?" D.D.T (Dimension Dyfenders Toonies for long), is a brand new miniseries of comic strips that comes out during the weekends. (Starting in October, the end of september, or during the holiday season! No promises, though.) It's a little something i can make up while you guys wait for the next Pocket Adventures Minisodes. Oh yeah, here's one of the cover for it, too! It's not much, but i know you guys would go NUTS for it:

This will be about how the Dyfenders handle their superhero and school lives in everyday situations. (No worries, the action isn't gone. There might be some strips about school, but there will be more strips about their superhero lives, guarantee!). It's also about what The Dajo-Crew does when they aren't invading dimensions, get into some shenanigans at the castle and also when they plot evil schemes. some strips will be either original with a new short story or a recreation of old strips from phase 1 (not a final decision of course, but you can tell us if you like this idea)! One thing to point out is that some of the strips might take place before some minisodes, now thats another thing to notice, right? And that's the only "spoiler" I can give. So, sorry, no more! OH! And for any of you voice actors reading this who are like: "Wow, i wonder when this series will get a comic dub / animated series. If i'm lucky enough i might be able to voice act for it!" … Boy, do we have a treat for you all. Which will be posted in a few hours. both on bird app, bluesky, insta and on here!  The only thing I have to announce is that during the d.d stuff's production and during art school, i'm not gonna be online on social media. (until during normal/long weekends and festive days.), but no worries, the series is still alive and kicking, even when there aren't posts about it for a few months! Though, in some days, i'll be able to make and share some art for it! You're all in for a wild ride for these months and for 2024! Oh, and about Dajo's account. I'm planning to bring it back. But, Dajo is currently busy conquering Dimensions, but I can assure he hasn't abandoned Sinstagram completely. You'll see more of his influencer side, too. Both in his Sinstagram and in the upcoming strips! (And perhaps in some mini– OOPS! TOO MUCH!) That's all for now! Thank you all for your support on the series, don't forget to share your fan creations of the series in DMs or tag me and the team in your masterpieces, share it with your family and friends, subscribe to the series on Comicfury, and follow me on Tumblr, bluesky, bird app and Instagram if you wish to support the project even outside of comicfury! Once again, thank you all in this slowly-growing small fandom for all of your support, and i hope you're all excited for what's to come! If you have any questions, please drop them on my tumblr askbox, Which i'll be able to answer during the weekends. That's all, back to the offline study and sleep abyss for me. GOODBYE!

[supercyberlife]

Things I’ve Done Since Starting College

Hello fellow dolls! Long time no see. So much has happened in the last couple of months which is why I'm pretty inconsistent with posting. So sorry! But anyways, I've recently Started College. It's super exciting and fun finally being able to do what I want and act like an actual adult so I thought I'd make a short post about all the things I've started doing as a first year college student.

Saving money/ Not spending it random stuff

Since I can no longer count on my mother as my primary source of income I’ve started saving a lot more of my money. I try not to use my money on silly things i won't use. I also try not to buy food because I have a pretty good meal plan and dining dollars so it would kind of be a waste. This isn't saying don't spend money but more so spend money minimally.

Stuck with a good study schedule

College is pretty different work wise in terms of how much agency you have. Your professors aren’t going to be on your back like past teachers telling you to do your work. I highly suggest getting a planner and working around the times that work best for you (I might make a study guide in the future). Also studying in a place that makes you feel productive. I usually study in the library or one of the main halls of my school since it makes me wants to be productive and the fact that there are other people around being productive too helps with my motivation.

Started eating a more balanced diet

Now since i don’t really have to worry about buying food and eating in general i’ve been eating more balanced meals. I start off with a little breakfast, eat a salad for lunch, and have a nice fulfilling dinner in the dining hall. I’ll also eat a few snacks in between but all together I’ve started having better eating habits.

Started socializing

This one has really been something I’m proud of. I’ve started spending more time out and about instead of in my room or dorm. I hang around campus or walk into town (I go to a small college in a small town), Or even just hanging in the common room with friends. Personally I’ve made a ton of new friends I hang out with all time, whether that be walking to class, meeting for lunch, or going out to parties together. College is a great place to be more outgoing and make new friends. A good way to start is to host a movie night or something. In my dorm we have a common room with a tv and every night we set up a movie night and invite friends over (sometimes they bring their other friends) and we end up having a blast, so don’t be afraid to be the one to make the first move in making new friends.

Embraced changes/ the unknown

I know starting your adult life in a new place by yourself is horrifying but once you get past the fear there are so many new experiences for you out there! Just don’t be afraid and truly believe in yourself.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT FOR HELP

I was brought up in a family where I rarely asked for help and that made my life so much harder than it needed to be. Before starting school my family made it clear that if I needed help I should just ask and I did. I started asking family, friends, and school staff for help if I needed it because that's what they’re there for, to support you. Please take advantage of all the resources and help that is definitely gonna come your way.

I hope this post helps with an anxiety anyone else has had or is having about college. Take care of yourselves. Love you all!!!

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 567

John 1:4

DIVINE ORDER 132: WORKING ORDER 27

Joh 15:26 And when the Comforter has come, whom I will send to you from the Father, THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH WHO PROCEEDS FROM THE FATHER, HE SHALL TESTIFY OF ME. MKJV

THE HOLY GHOST IS WORKING 16 - HIS PROPAGATION 1

We could have started with the Initiating work and Purpose of the Holy Ghost, which was clearly spelt out by Jesus at the point when He was departing from the world. You know it!

Act 1:8 But I promise you this—the Holy Spirit will come upon you and you will be filled with power. And you will be my messengers to Jerusalem, throughout Judea, the distant provinces—even to the remotest places on earth!” TPT

So, it’s in carrying out this initializing purpose that the Holy Spirit will thence do and perfect all those things we have mentioned before now.

The debut entrance of the Spirit indeed fulfilled that basic purpose because He made Himself loudly heard and openly manifest.

Act 2:5-8 Many RELIGIOUS JEWS FROM EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WERE LIVING IN JERUSALEM. And when THEY HEARD THIS NOISE, A CROWD GATHERED. But they were surprised, because they were hearing everything in their own languages. THEY WERE EXCITED AND AMAZED, and said: Don't all these who are speaking come from Galilee? Then WHY DO WE HEAR THEM SPEAKING OUR VERY OWN LANGUAGES? CEV

The Gospel cannot be a secret or ambiguous; it is meant to be shouted upon roof tops.

Mar 4:21-22 Then Jesus said to them, "You don't take a lamp and hide it under a bowl or a bed, do you? Of course not. You put it on a lampstand. EVERYTHING THAT IS HIDDEN WILL BE MADE CLEAR. EVERY SECRET THING WILL BE MADE KNOWN. ERV

The Disciples are to go out and all over the world and preach the Gospel everywhere possible by the Inspiration of the Spirit, and to all who would listen.

Job 32:8 But truly it is the spirit in man, even the breath of the Ruler of all, which gives them knowledge. BBE

The Holy Spirit, even though having limitless power to captivate, will not suddenly arrest everyone who hears the Gospel.

God is not making Robots; Men will have to accept Christ by their own freewill. Therefore, there will commonly be opposition from some people.

But the Holy Spirit will grant the answers to subdue all such persons too.

They cant stop us!

Luk 21:14-15 Don't worry about what you will say to defend yourselves. I will give you the wisdom to know what to say. NONE OF YOUR ENEMIES WILL BE ABLE TO OPPOSE YOU OR TO SAY THAT YOU ARE WRONG. CEV

There are those who need to see signs and wonders before they can believe (Jn4:48), so the Spirit will manifest the Power of God to heal them through you.

Many of us must desire to always have the “backing” of the Holy Ghost. It is part of the package.

Heb 2:3-4 how will we escape if we neglect such a great salvation? It was first communicated through the Lord and was confirmed to us by those who heard him, WHILE GOD CONFIRMED THEIR WITNESS WITH SIGNS AND WONDERS AND VARIOUS MIRACLES AND GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT DISTRIBUTED ACCORDING TO HIS WILL. NET

But the Holy Ghost will not do this alone; there has to be people to stand as vessel.

Act 4:7-8 They made the apostles stand before them and asked them, "How did you do this? What power do you have or whose name did you use?" Peter, full of the Holy Spirit, answered them, "Leaders of the people and elders: GNB

The Gospel or Holy Spirit is not handicapped for want of people at all.

There have abounded testimonies of people who were ministered to by Jesus Himself and thrived without preachers.

But God chose the Gospel to be more profoundly a product from Lives of men, as a confirmation of its potency and veritability in those who have embraced it.

Joh 15:16 You didn't choose me, but I CHOSE YOU. I HAVE APPOINTED YOU TO GO, TO PRODUCE FRUIT THAT WILL LAST, and to ask the Father in my name to give you whatever you ask for. GW

Remember when Angel Gabriel came to tell Mary of Jesus’ birth, using Elizabeth’s case as a testimony to encourage Mary?

Zachariah was struck dumb because he doubted (Lk1:18-20), but we know he didn’t have reference advantage like Mary later had, did he?

Luk 1:36-37 Even now Elisabeth, who is of your family, is to be a mother, though she is old: and this is the sixth month with her who was without children. For there is nothing which God is not able to do. BBE

That’s why Jesus didn’t emphasize that the Spirit will convict people with Power, but rather that those people will be our products, by the Holy Spirit working through us.

Your life will embrace and partner with the Holy Ghost without restraint, IN JESUS NAME.

See you on Friday, as we proceed with this interesting Subtopic.

Brother Prince

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

08055125517; 08023904307

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

A really interesting thing has happened to my thoughts, with recovery. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go but recently it feels like life might be for me again.

When I was in high school all I remember is writing. It was a bad time for me. Later, I was worried that I'd never write that well again, not like I did when I was in that dark place.

At first it seemed it might be true. After all, I fell into a totally different depression where I couldn't even muster the energy to write. Then was the bumbling period, when everything I wrote was shit. I gave up a little bit after that, decided that everything I'd ever written must be shit. Still enjoyed a good ole writing prompt or challenge from time to time. Got super into fanfiction. Took creative writing classes. But still never thought I'd write anything worthy of being seen by strangers ever again. My friends and family have to say I'm amazing, as long as I'm decent, which I am. The degree in English isn't purely decorative. But strangers, especially on the Internet, can be brutal in their criticism. I thought I'd never take the chance of being hit with that again.

But then. Then.

I began to recover. And with recovery came a stern talking to to myself. I had to be productive every day because it will make me feel better about myself and healthier in the long run. I used to write, I shrugged, and I liked it. I wrote every day because I said I would, a feat unto itself. First my fiction writing got better as I forced myself to keep at it. Practice certainly makes better. But even stranger, and not entirely related to the writing practice, I formed the drive to write again. To have complex thoughts I might want to get out. I was doing so badly that I barely noticed them swirling around there, weighing me down.

I was afraid of criticism. I thought people might laugh at my thoughts, my self analysis. But really, they're just for me. The reason I deign to share them is for the off chance that my thinking about myself makes others think about themselves. Yourselves. It helped me feel better to realize that the sad dark thoughts are still there, and I can still get them out when needed, but I'm far better at dealing with them now. It does get better. You become better at managing your feelings and understanding how to best accommodate yourself. I treat myself with far more kindness now and I can write about that. I can write about how it used to not be like this, and how it Gets. Fucking. Better.

[mocha000]

Some healing TT Thank you for another great ch!

(finished note: foaming at the mouth waiting for the yoongi and mc smut ahhh)

"Drinking away the last few weeks might not be the best move, neither the healthiest nor the most productive decision to drink yourselves dizzy until it doesn’t matter that there’s a person buried in your basement, that Jin shot Jimin, or that you almost left them." The corpse is still there?? "It’s okay, if Jungkook has a seizure that will be the least of your worries." Hmm this feels like a flag.

"once when namjoon pops a bottle of champagne and hits himself in the face with a flying cork, and again when he and Yoongi clink their glasses and predictably break them on accident sending champagne all over the floor. it's not the first glass that breaks that night but it is the first one that makes Jin laugh." loll

"That surviving and being together is even better." TT "although Hoseok and Yoongi might be fighting, they're leaning further into each other with every over-exaggerated scoff like a pair of magnets." Cute lol "Jimin’s growl is a near thing, a near purr, makes you giggle and tip into him, happy. “I’ll make you one babygirl.” Hot.

"Tae can definitely do it herself too but Jimin stoops to grip under her thighs, eye contact with her never ceasing, and almost drops her when she takes the chance to kiss him fully on the mouth and you giggle again." So cute TT

"It's not silly, it's not silly at all- Yoongi is just not quite sure how angry he is." Noo :/ "Pulling him closer so harshly that hoseok genuinely looks startled for a second. "I am thinking about your shirt- how it would look on my fucking floor." Ahh hot. "Are they angry at each other or trying to fuck?" "Both?" "Both." Loll "“Never.” He says softly, quietly. Like every syllable she says is treasured. It is." :(

I'm listening to the playlist. It's pretty nice. "But then after a pregnant second, he loops his pinky through." Aww. Mc taking charge for comforting Tae is so cute. im so proud TT "it's just that Tae needed a bit of liquid courage after Moonbyul's words, you expect that they've gotten under her skin a little more than she's let on." oh... :(

"You remember when that bralet was just hidden in her makeup room. Remember when she'd never worn it, too risky, too much of a confession to the nature of her soul underneath." The nostalgia TT Oh I kinda missed the timing for the "being a girl is fun" song but it fits so well :( "(Hoseok won't have to wonder for long, although he will be disappointed, just a little)" Ohh Tae and mc wedding time?!

No, I don't need to see, you look lovelier in this, I'm sure." "I clearly haven't been doing my job if you think you need to get me drunk to compliment you- I'll happily do it again when we all get sober." Yay he's being sweet again TT "Walking is what heels and alphas are for anyway." lol "It's a blood splatter." Oh no...

"The alphas try to lift it all together and almost fall over themselves, barely moving it even an inch before Yoongi decides to cut it up with his power tools and carry it out piece by piece." lol "Tae asks Hobi to play bubblegum pop and they’re just so happy to see her smiling and acting anything like herself that they acquiesce to even her most ridiculous requests." ohh thats why the playlist has these vibes.

"Yoongi is wearing a pair of Tae’s fuzzy knee socks and is dancing slowly with Noodle who chirps in his arms- apparently recognizing that your mate is too soft and squishy at the edges to be worth the hissing" Cute kitties lol Joon did their piercings?! Surprising. (H O T T O GOO) The grooming is so intimate ahh.

Them making the couch TT (homee) "Yoongi pauses, his lips part for a split second and then go closed, and this time his cheeks go pink. But he sounds stronger when he says, “Yeah, I’d tell you.”" Ohh I see. them casually talking about the murder lol im happy that she gets closure though. “Of course, she was gonna hire an assassin hyung, her ex-husband was like a total dick- like even more of a dick than Moonbutt or whatever her name is.” “Moonbitch Kookie.” LOL

"When Tae asks, you show her how to pipe out a little heart, and then JK wants to make a dick-shaped one and you let him." Lol “The first time was an accident- it was- before you guys just before Tae went to school- right when she started and I wasn’t thinking. Someone rushed at one of my private clients and I just-“ ohh i thought his first kill was as an assassin.

“That music executive” Tae blurts, eyes shining, connecting the dots “you were really quiet after you came back but then you got buys, I just thought-” She goes quiet when you feed her the first bite, letting out a surprised but appreciative hum, distracted by how good it tastes, "This is really good." the change lol ""Okay now I'm really angry, how have you never made this for me?"" I can't loll god tier tiramisu.

"Jimin looks winded, desperate from the line of hope that Jin dangles in front of him, a chance at salvation. Jimin has always wanted to know- in that same twisted way he’s always wondered if he and Tae were going to go to the same place when they died- if he was honest to god crazy." Ohh :( Oops rosario came a little late. "It's truth enough- it's pretty obvious to you that's what Moonbyul and Hyejin had to slated for" Ohhh!

"“Hobi’s exes are the current head of a fucking crime family- and Yoongi’s like the heir to some fucked up advice column throne thing- that I still don't quite understand but" Jk! lol advice column im dead "The hardwood floors have seen worse things in recent days than some whipped cream and everyone lets out belated 'No!' and Gross Jk' as Jungkook leans over to lick it up" loll "“Hyung, you know if I’ve got a secret- it’s one I’ll never tell.” huh?!

"i personally think they should have all fucked on the floor in tae's dresses, but thats just my personal thoughts about it all." ooh! the mess though :/ "yoongi does not and has not told her his wants and needs very often in the story- and that changes after this chapter- because in the moment they're putting together the sofa he realizes 'oh i actually can tell her what i need' it's important to note that the mc has healed to this point like- earlier in the story she might have taken any request from yoongi as criticism." ohhh true.

"i ended up having to cut the after part of this chapter, but i kinda like it better that way because then yoongi doesn't forgive her right away. idk, that was the main part i wanted to work on for this chapter so its kinda good that i get to wait a little bit." im not ok :/ (kidding but ahh i want to see my babies be happy)

"i've been…admitedly, dangerously depressed for the last two weeks,: :( "and i think working on this chapter made me realize that working on bily, writing stuff, is legitimately the only time i am happy and one of like 3 things that makes me feel okay, i hope it makes you feel okay too <3" yes!

Before I Leave You (Pt.70)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: The one where the pack goes on a group bender. 

Tags: Fluff, only a little hurt mostly just comfort, scenting, bathing, drinking, drunk characters, recovery from past abused, nightmares, trans! tae, dress up, girl on girl fluff, omegaspace, themes of forgiveness, vomiting, eating disorder mention but everything's good, Brief implied sexual content, Talks of mental disorders, murder,

W/c: 12.6k

Note: The part where it links to a playlist on youtube may be a little distracting if you do not like to read with loud music on! feel free to skip it and then go back to listen to it <3 although it is not the first song in the playlist- hot to go by chappell roan is the unofficial official song of the chapter <3

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The pack spends the next three days getting drunk off their asses and trying their hardest to forget the last 3 weeks. Everything since you and Hobi found that body at the beach all those weeks ago.

There are no police officers at the door, no red and blue lights that cloud the air, or tense words spat between you. No plans devilish or delightful. Sometimes there are thin bands of sunlight that slip through the blinds and that's a big event. Other times- the big kitchen light shines brighter than any sun. Daytime and nighttime blend and blur together until you’re not sure what day it is or how many days it’s been since all of you became free.

Freedom. It feels like a dirty word.

Young, drunk, and honest, the days blend together. Drinking away the last few weeks might not be the best move, neither the healthiest nor the most productive decision to drink yourselves dizzy until it doesn’t matter that there’s a person buried in your basement, that Jin shot Jimin, or that you almost left them. The truth of love is clean compared to what you might do, what you have done- for the people you love.

For once no one judges, no one cuts you off after one or three or five drinks because it's too much for a pup like you. No one even stops Jungkook from getting giggly from champagne and drinking more than his seizures would normally allow. You deserve it, a few nights of fun, a few nights to live like the 20-somethings that you all are without the weight of trying to survive and secrets weighing you down.

It’s okay, if Jungkook has a seizure that will be the least of your worries.

The hours blend and blur. Jin submits his resignation paperwork for the FBI and has a quick video call with the director, the rest of the pack tries to be quiet but fails several times (once when namjoon pops a bottle of champagne and hits himself in the face with a flying cork, and again when he and Yoongi clink their glasses and predictably break them on accident sending champagne all over the floor. it's not the first glass that breaks that night but it is the first one that makes Jin laugh.)

You and Jungkook lay sprawl across his lap, just out of sight and giggling every few minutes. nuzzling under Jin's shirt to scent his sensitive stomach. Your fingers play with Jungkook's on Jin's hips, and you teeth listlessly at the soft skin just above his belly button, just so that you don't speak or let out an embarassingly needy whine. His hands and long fingers card through your hair and shushing your laughter just barely. Jin doesn't have the heart to tell anyone not to laugh, especially after the last few days no- Jin will drink down every bit of it.

The glass of very good and expensive wine in his hands just out of view of the camera lens, also gets drunk down, and very quick. Yoongi pauses to refill it once Jin's done, he drinks the second glass slower.

Hobi and Namjoon fill out their paperwork for emergency rut leave. Jimin doesn’t have to, already on emergency medical leave and cleared for his bodyguard job till the end of the month when spring will turn the ground lucid and heavy sweet. The winter won't be long now, although the cold pushes at the window and makes Yoongi put the thermostat up high just so that you can all lounge around in your pajamas and fuzzy socks.

Heat and rut leave, even though no one's in a rut or heat. You don't mind lying and abusing the system just this once. You just can’t think about leaving the house just yet. You need a few days to settle all of your instincts and remember that being alive- that surviving is a good thing. That surviving and being together is even better.

It feels like a good thing. It feels like this is the first deep breath you’ve taken in a long long while. Since long before Yoongi maybe- if you’re being honest.

You know you must be irritating your neighbors with the music- but it’s worth it when you get to sit on the counter and watch Yoongi and Hobi bicker over the playlist. Which song is better, which one has the better backtrack, the better lyrics, and the better vibe.

A big black block speaker sits on the kitchen island bumping and although Hoseok and Yoongi might be fighting, they're leaning further into each other with every over-exaggerated scoff like a pair of magnets. it might be midnight, it might be 4am, but no ones sleeping yet. you know too well what waits you when you close your eyes. The nightmares that will plauge all of you, so you keep them open.

It's kinda fun to watch them flirt, It's kinda your favorite thing to watch actually. sitting there on the counter sipping at your drink.

You stay close to Hobi just incase. He hasn't showed any sort of evidence of falling apart from seeing moonbyul yet, but you're ready and waiting if he needs you.

The long socks you wear have trouble staying up to your mid-thigh, thick and cozy, and falling down around your knee as you sit on the countertop, feet dangling and swinging as you look between Hobi and Yoongi. Jimin toys with them, pulling up and pulling down. Happy with the sensation of it. He's equally as entertained by the way that Yoongi and Hobi fight, half joking- half really not.

After the kind of fights you've had recently, you'll take it.

“Fuck you and your love for fucking tambourines- this song is not that good-” Your feet swish and Hobi bens in to peck your forehead and sneak a sip of your drink. You like them sweet and Jin's made each one extra sugary for you.

You don't know where Jin got the mini paper umbrellas from- but Hoseok has a red one tucked behind his ear and a green one in his drink, the same as your yellow one. They litter the kitchen counter along with the juiced rinds of lemons and limes and other mixers that the pack is chasing with their alcohol.

"Oh! Try it Tae, this is like- so you and so so pink" Tae tries your drink too, bending down to sip at it counter level and you watch Jimin swallow hard and fidget. he's so enthralled with the sight of her bending over and sucking that he misses her sneaky hand creeping around to his backside, pinching so hard he jumps.

Hoseok laughs and then does the same to Yoongi. "Oh my god what the fuck-" He's indignant, but Hoseok tugs him back to his side by his belt buckle.

Tae's eyes are nearly comically wide, she asks you what you're drinking, hand on your knee, fiddling with the ribbon on your socks. “I’ve never had a Miami vice before.”

Jimin’s growl is a near thing, a near purr, makes you giggle and tip into him, happy. “I’ll make you one babygirl.”

"Wait!" Tae snags Jimin around the waist before he sinks off to get her one, and even you can see the blush on his cheeks. It's a good sign, Jimin is recovering well from all the blood he lost.

"Help me sit on the counter first?"

Jimin had in fact, heaved you up there when you'd asked to sit, not that you couldn't get up there on your own- but the alpha’s like to do little things like that for you. Tae can definitely do it herself too but Jimin stoops to grip under her thighs, eye contact with her never ceasing, and almost drops her when she takes the chance to kiss him fully on the mouth and you giggle again.

Yoongi glances over at you, at the sound, and your giggle cuts off. cheeks the mirror of Jimin's.

The discomfort passes like it was never there, like he didn't look for the sound, like he's not keenly aware of just how many steps it would take to cross the room and kiss you firmly on the mouth. Yoongi's thinking all sorts of silly things like that.

It's not silly, it's not silly at all- Yoongi is just not quite sure how angry he is.

Yoongi’s all puffed up, swaying but somehow holding onto his whiskey. The counter digs into his hip where he leans and flips his hair like he doesn't know that Hobi's watching. Like Hobi's not biting his lip and staring. It's easier to look at Hobi than it is to look at you- easier to want Hobi than it is to want you right now. Easier to bicker and flirt than to actually initiate anything.

(Yoongi never did like sex or love when he's drunk, he's only ever loved love sober, drinking makes him- stumbly- less articulate than he likes, more rambly. Like his body and his mind are at two seperate tempo's and they won't mix).

“Like you’re any better with your fucking cowbell fixation. It does not add that much to a track."

“Hey! I am a millennial thank you very much, that was like such a meme when I was in high school- like people had shirts with that on it” 

their bickering is funny and it’s so much nicer than almost drowning, than fighting. Jimin’s stitches are still tender but you burrow into the front of his chest, hiding your face from view. Peeking over his shoulder to watch Yoongi and Hobi. 

Your mate tips his head, spits it almost vicious and slurry, “And I bet you had one of those fucking shirts, You and your fucking memes, just because a song has cowbell in it doesn't make it a good song-” 

Hoseok grins, teeth sharp looking and smelling so heady and rich that you tip your neck to the side, presenting your scent gland for Jimin and Tae to burrow into, between the two of them in a alpha sandwich. 

"You thinking about my shirt hyung? It's made of boyfriend material you know." 

Jin laughs from the couch in approval and tae groans but Yoongi's hand tangles with the front of Hoseok's shirt, black, generic. Pulling him closer so harshly that hoseok genuinely looks startled for a second. "I am thinking about your shirt- how it would look on my fucking floor." 

Jungkook swishes around his Miami vice from the couch, calling over to your little cuddle puddle, "Does anyone know what they're talking about?" 

Jin pipes up, almost undistinguishable from where he's pressed between Joonie and the couch cushion. "Are they angry at each other or trying to fuck?"

"Both?" 

"Both." 

You sigh at the same moment Tae nearly swoons, "Let them be."

"It's sort of hot to watch them argue," you agree.

“You and your fucking memes” Yoongi spits again, half a laugh, so in love that he purses his lips to keep from saying it and ruining the (admittedly fake) argument.

He pushes hoseok up agains the center island, lips colliding with his so sloppy and yet with so much love behind them that you see Hobi's knees go weak a little, watch your mates lips work in the way you are only too familiar with blushing and still peeking. As Hoseok's red hair mizes with Yoongi's black and Hoseok kisses back with just as much tension, finally snapping. Yoongi's hands on his hips. Kissing just to kiss. Pulling apart with a laugh because,

"Did you just fucking bite me?"

"And i'll do it again if you don't admit that my song is better than yours." They go back to kissing, and no one pays them heed.

Jimin’s scent swells sweeter and Tae touches the top of your head, long fingers threading through and long nails scratching gently behind your ears. 

"Feeling small pup?" She asks, all quiet and fond with it. Prepared to wisk you away upstairs or into the library room if you need a second of quiet, a second of less stimulation so settle you. you're a little quiet, a little less verbal- something she's come to expect from you in omegaspace.

You shake your head, words escaping you, eyes stuck on her fluffy sweater, the kind of mohair that leaves a pretty white halo, her shorts are more bloomers, ruffled at the hem and dove colored, the same color as your socks. Coordinating. Tae dressed you and she wanted couples outfits. Your hands fix on her sweater sleeves and you pet them once, twice, still shaking your head. 

"You sure?" Tae's lips quirk and you know that she doesn't believe you in the slightest. You press a kiss to her lips, slow soft, near reverent with how gentle you are with it. Her pupils dilate, and Jimin's' growl rumbles all the way to your fingertips.  

"M'okay, just a little sleepy but not like- sleepy sleepy yet." it is nearing 3 in the morning. Jimin's arms tighten around you protective and a little possessive, Tae's eyes go from your face to his. Apparently, she's learned a thing or two from Yoongi and Hobi because her tone is dripping with false displeasure.

“Stealing my pup from me Minnie?” She taunts, and you shiver at the sound of her voice, low, the most normal it’s sounded in days. You’d almost forgotten what it sounded like when Tae teased.

Jimin seems to have forgotten too, because he doesn't seem to understand that she's teasing, bullying you, nearly pushing you further into her with how quick he seeks to hand you over.  “Never.” He says softly, quietly. Like every syllable she says is treasured. It is. 

“Hey!” Jin flops over the edge of the couch. Jungkook and Namjoon near his feet. All but kissing up his thighs. Namjoon says something low and Jungkook giggles, almost tossing himself into the pack alpha’s shoulder. “Hey! If anyone is anyone’s pup, they’re- hic- mine!” 

Jin only manages to be serious for a second before he flinches, laughing and hiccuping again as Namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of his heal. A carefully orchestrated reminder as the pack omega squirms and shrieks at the ticklish feeling. Swaying and almost toppling from the couch. You don’t think you’ve seen Jin look so young, act so young- in weeks. He ends up on the floor with Jungkook on top of him, blowing raspberries against his neck with a loud rippling noise. 

Your hands are healing slowly and Hobi’s bruises around his neck are beginning to yellow. The bruises on the back of Tae’s head have faded from painful to touch tender. You touch her there, oh so gently. Touching her hair as she touches yours, leaning into each other and giggling, touching, loving gently. Jimin watches blinking owlishly. Fingers flexing on the countertop.

Other wounds have faded that way too. Yoongi scoffs and turns to you. They've been lost in their own little world. Yoongi has his long hair in a top knot, his white teeshirt is so long it almost hides his shorts below. If basketball shorts could be coquettish- Yoongi would pull it off. The loose pieces of his hair fluff softly over his forehead as he huffs. 

“Okay. You can be the tiebreaker- which one’s better? This one or the song I showed earlier?”

Both of them look at you expectantly- watching and waiting, Tae curls a lock of your hair around her finger syrupy slow as you pause for a second. You turn to Yoongi already apologetic, “Okay- but Russian house music is like- kinda really really cool-” 

Your mate groans and all but smacks his head on the counter. “Oh come on!” Hoseok pumps his fist and almost hip-checks Yoongi across the kitchen. Your mate pouts, crossing his arms.

“Come on- epic high is a classic.” 

“Admit it hyung- she likes my playlist better than yours.”

At least Yoongi is sort of talking to you again. Sort of getting over it minute by minute. It’s hard. Namjoon watches you from where he's sprawled on the couch, holding a near-empty bottle of champagne by the neck while Jungkook and Jin wrestle on the floor, sort of making out, sort of scenting each other as they go. Jimin requests a song that Tae would like- and then Yoongi and Hoseok lean over Yoongi's phone to make her the perfect playlist. Happy to have something new and mundane to bicker over.

(Happy Pink Pup Time ▷ Play playlist?)

Morning is just cresting over the rooftops and the music is just turned down when Namjoon gets up from the couch, slowly, dizzy. You're perched on the counter in your pj's watching Jimin and Jungkook chase each other around the room. The need to scent and wrestle and get all your restless energy out near palpable.

Hoseok and Jungkook have a tiny paper drink umbrella tucked behind their ears, the same one that Jin stuck in your drinks so that you can keep track of whose drink is whose. He and Jungkook gang up on Jimin to stick one into his hair, the tiny little baby bun that Tae tied to match Yoongi.

You giggle as Jungkook gives up and just loops his arms around Jimin's neck, no technique to it and all body weight dragging the three of them to the floor. Sprawled next to the library room door, now open. Tae’s makeup collection spread out on the green shaggy carpet like the fallen petals of some red flowering tree. Nothing hidden in the room anymore, the lock will go unused forever. 

It changes from wrestling to tickling and then the three of them are getting up and surrounding Yoongi, a paper umbrella in their fingers, he takes it all with a huff and a surprisingly whiney, “guys.” 

You still when Namjoon walks over, the same way you'd still if a wild animal were approaching. He doesn't settle close, just stands next to you and pours himself the last melted bit of the drink in the blender. Pink and yellow swirling delicately. He makes a noise in his throat and looks at you like he hasn’t barely said a word to anyone in the whole last 24 hours, hasn’t barely said a word to you since you got off the phone with him and Moonbyul left the house. 

You sip at your drink, lips pursed around the straw and when you're done, Namjoon takes it from you and puts it on the counter. You think at first that he might be cutting you off but then he stares at the gauze around your hands.

"I should probably check these." You nod obedient, wordless, unsure what to say, you let him take your hands. 

Fingers prodding at the red skin, delicate but knitting itself together slowly. “How much do they hurt?” He asks. Eyes downturned, looking at them, not you. 

“Probably a two,” you rate, almost without thinking. His eyelashes still cling together from salt. Face glossy. You want to wash his face, blot across his cheeks gently the way that Jin does after you've been crying (something that you admittedly do a lot- the pack's resident crybaby). 

Namjoon sighs heavily, "So should I consider that a four or-" 

"No, this time I'm being honest." Namjoon stills, "It doesn't hurt when I touch stuff unless I'm not careful." Being honest about your hurts and pains has never been easy for you. But Namjoon has shown you time and time again that he's willing to take your hurts and fix them. You have no reason not to tell him the truth. 

Namjoon grips your palm, turning it over his hands again and again, looking down at your love line lifeline all tangled there before leveling you with a look that is neither angry nor resigned.

He holds your hand, “Do you notice?” He asks. You swallow, eyes itchy. 

“Notice what?” His finger presses to the center of your palm, the hollow there. 

“Still dry,” He says. 

You think of the mice. Of drowning. You don't pull your hand from  Namjoon's grasp, but you know he wouldn't Let you anyway. 

You think about the mice. Of dying. Of trying to stay dry despite the things that try to swallow you whole. Water is not gentle, water is hungry. The rain pitters against the dark glass and melts the snow outside. But you and Namjoon and the rest of the pack are dry and warm and safe in here. 

Your breath hitches, but you close your fingers around his hand and nod. Your heels hook around the back of his knees, pulling him closer to you. “Still dry.” You agree. 

Namjoon closes his eyes and breaks the tension and this distance between you. Letting you pull him between your thighs properly where you sit on the kitchen counter. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders to tug you to his chest, and breathing deep in the hollow of your throat. 

He pulls back just as abruptly. Hands resting on the counter on either side of your thighs. All up in your space and sour-smelling. It takes great effort for you not to turn away and keep his piercing eye contact. 

“Don’t do something like that again. Ever.” His jaw rolls and his scent spikes angry. But it's all temporary as you nose under his jaw to soothe him. Namjoon has every right to be angry with you for leaving, the same way Yoongi does. 

“Never. Promise.” You hold out your pinky and you mean it. 

Namjoon looks at you for a second, staring you down, waiting for you to look away. But then after a pregnant second, he loops his pinky through. 

~-~

Eventually, you get drunk enough to play dress up with Tae’s collection of designer clothes. You wake up sleepy and pupish, Namjoon and Jungkook guide you to the dressing room before youre really awake.

"Sorry to wake you, Tae just needed-" you make a sleepy soft noise, nuzzling into Namjoon's throat when they hand him off to you.

Instead of getting pulled into pajamas you get Tae and the dressing room, almost her whole collection of dresses taken out of their careful organization. piles and piles of clothes on the floor, and a silk scarf keeps her hair back from her face.

Gold eye patches on her under eyes that slide off when Jin tries to drag her in for a morning scent mark to soothe her. Tae's anxious, you can smell it on the air, distracting and sharp, you squirm and Namjoon sets you on the floor. "Sorry pup, Tae's just-"

Tae's cheeks were wet, frustrated holding a slip in her hands. sniffling softly. She'd looks at you a little guilty, looking down at you in the middle of her tornado and nearly burst into tears,

"I don't have anything to wear."

Hugging Tae is always so easy, easier when she needs your comfort. you're sleepy, but this is something you'd know how to do even in your sleep- loving her properly has always been so easy. Jimin stands silent and fidgety in between the hollow of her closet obviously having handed her dress after dress to try and soothe her.

"Jimin, give me that dress and that Crinolin."

"The blue one?"

"The one thats purple and pink, stat." You know better than to think this is just Tae having nothing to wear, this is dysphoria, the way it clings to her shoulders, makes her turn away from the mirrors. You straighten up and turn to your pack in the door each of them standing at attention.

"Namjoon, go downstairs and bring me up the case that's under Tae's makeup vanity, not next to it, the one under it. It's got her favorites." You turn to Hobi, "find Noodle, she needs a cat in her lap asap."

Tae sniffles, wiping her cheeks, grimacing but then admitting, "a cat would help."

They scatter. "What should I do?" Yoongi asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his hands.

You pause, hover. But Yoongi waits, willing to be ordered around. "you could make us a drink?"

Of course, you don't need to be drunk to play dress up on a good day, it's just that Tae needed a bit of liquid courage after Moonbyul's words, you expect that they've gotten under her skin a little more than she's let on. But if that's under her skin, you're happy to help her put something more fitting over it.

Skirts of tulle and beaded flowers and stars that glitter brighter than the whole sky. Fancy tambour embroidery that must be worth its weight in gold. Pulled gently, mother-of-pearl buttons get stuck in your hair. Expensive draping and diamond collars stitched high against scented throats. Velvet bows and metal boning are hidden by the softest silk.

It's fun to be a girl sometimes, most of the time. Especially when your alphas ask for you to twirl for them.   Which is how Namjoon ends up breaking the lamp by your couch by tripping over the floor-length bright pink dress that Tae’s put you in. fluffy tiers of it, bright and flamingo pink. Tae's feeling alot better now, after you'd done her makeup and let her swatch colors of lipstick up and down your arms. Let her choose your outfit and change you a dozen times to find the right dress for you.

You'd done the same with her, you'd put her in the red dress and blushed, and immediately asked her to change. And had pointedly not looked at the delicate daisy print bralette she wore under it, the white and yellow flowers that did everything for her skin.

You remember when that bralet was just hidden in her makeup room. Remember when she'd never worn it, too risky, too much of a confession to the nature of her soul underneath. When it had stayed just there- hidden in the library room, ready to be savored. Now- the yellow on the straps wears off white instead of lemony and you pull them up her shoulders, a kiss to the spot where it sits on her shoulders.

Hoseok sits on the edge of the couch- because all of them had tried and failed to fit on the pink tufted bench upstairs in the dressing room almost breaking it so you had to relocate back to the first floor. Hoseok buries his face in your hip, disappearing into the pink glittery fabric. Laughing and smiling up at you. "You should wear this all the time, you look like a fucking peony,"

"That would be like so impractical." Hobi's cheeks are dotted with kiss prints, "if you want to put makeup on me you better kiss it on" he'd teased, getting drunk quicker than the rest. his cheeks have several small kiss prints four from Tae and five from you.

All of you bear her touch, either by kisses on your cheeks, pink and mauve, or by the glitter that tae's demanded you all wear. You’ve giggled and dotted it across their cheeks to match. Tae has a lot of glitter to go through in her makeup collection, more than she ever logically will in her lifetime or even before they expire. It's okay to use them now.

She sits with Jin, the pack omega's arms full of swatches the same way yours were all those months ago, as Tae explains the merits of each and Jin chooses which glitter he wants on his cheeks. The reflects in this one that's green, not purple- or the pink one with extra little heart glittery bits- her favorite. Jin listens on an astute student, Jimin close at his hip, absorbing her words like they're gospel.

They are gospel. After spending the last few days debating survival strategies- debating glitters is so much better.

Jin lets Tae put his on (white, with extra chunky stars) while you put some on Namjoon's cheeks (champagne colored, almost translucent with how it blends into his skin) and Jimin’s fingers draw idle circles over Tae's back. Between the velvet ribbons that crisscross and tie her corset.

Tae's corset is a deep plumb, but the color of her silk dress fades to pink around her waist and then gauzy white on the floor. Her red toenails are only visible when she sways, "Minnie i'm ticklish there." Jimin just growls in response. Half a pur and half a plea.

Are the others thinking about it like you are? Thinking about Tae in a big white dress, a veil across her face? Are they thinking about how lovely she looks in white? Or how much they'd like to see her in a white dress for them? Just like you are?

Namjoon leans close, between your thighs too. All of them- all of your packmates sit in a line across the couch, ready to be glittered and made up because Tae had requested it. Doing all of their makeup. They'd been so willing, so loving about it. They'd even washed their faces and you'd gotten to clean the salt from Namjoon's cheeks just like you'd wanted. But now-

Now the 4th finger on your hand hums sensitive, Tae has glitter across her knuckles. You haven't thought about your wedding ring since you took it off, and haven't thought about marriage at all. Jimin well- Jimin will be Tae's mate- same way you're Yoongi's. But Tae's ring finger is empty, she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry but-

You don't think about your wedding alot, not at all really. Such a brief little bit of time that started easily the worst time in your life, but you remember the feeling of the dress, tight on your hips- how you couldn't move a full step without help.

Hoseok burrows into the fluff at your hip, really- it must have taken a mile or two of tulle to make a skirt so poofy. It sort of feels like you're wearing a cloud. With Tae's ribcage size and your chest- most of her dresses fit you comfortably. This one is probably the closest, and Tae chose it for you.

Tae chose it for you.

You sneak furtive glances over at Tae while you do Namjoon's makeup. Not much, just a bit of eyeliner and mascara for his sparse lashes. He looks up at you from the couch, eyeliner on one eye, almost masculine in the way it makes his eyes look sharper and dragon like. Concealer for the bags under his eyes.

"Your scent went a little sour then sweet, what were you thinking about?" You continue to put it on him, pat pat pat- quiet for a moment where you choose your words.

"I was thinking about my wedding dress."

Hoseok quiets where he's still burrowing into your hip, maybe more a little alpha-puppyish than you've seen him. You don't blame him, the stress of yesterday has you needing a bit of omegaspace yourself. Your back and shoulders all tense in the way that only ever relaxes when you're brought low and sweet by their care.

But not now- not tonight- maybe tomorrow you'll indulge in omegaspace. Tonight, none of you will sleep or be sensitive just in case something bad happens. Just in case Moonbyul's promises were too good to be true. It might be a good night (verging on morning) but none of you trust the quiet. The rain still pittering on outside. Creaking under the doors with cold damp fingers.

Namjoon's fingers dig warm into the spot under your thighs, the squishy bit of skin between your knees and your mid-thigh. Under the dress but firm, keeping you there in the moment and not sinking back through your memories. 

Hobi's eyes are shiny when they look up at you, pinching a bit of the pink tulle between his thumb and forefinger. "What was getting married like? What did you wear for your wedding dress?" Was it everything you dreamed of or could you want that dream again. Who would you want that with, could it be me?

(Hoseok won't have to wonder for long, although he will be disappointed, just a little)

"It was so- so not me- I'd much rather have worn something like this." The dress might be a monstrous concoction of tulle but it's still so cute- so much more- you than anything Geumjae ever put you in.

"Getting married was kinda a blur, alot of people, a lot of talking but- I have pictures of me in it somewhere, do you want to see?" Namjoon nuzzles into your waist, your sternum, and nearly your chest, but you let him. He answers in a purr before Hobi has a chance too. 

"No, I don't need to see, you look lovelier in this, I'm sure."

"I never thought a bit of whiskey would draw compliments out of you alpha," You tease, it's a bit of a change from how firm with you he was yesterday but you're not going to look gift horses in the mouth. Namjoon just shakes his head, rubbing his cheeks across your bodice more thoroughly, almost clumsy in his scenting.  

"I clearly haven't been doing my job if you think you need to get me drunk to compliment you- I'll happily do it again when we all get sober."

"Like that will ever happen again," Jin snorts, then ducks away from Namjoon's /////' We really shouldn't have that kind of mentality look. They can avoid their pack alpha and pack omega responsibilities and sensibilities for a few moments more. a few days more. 

Tae had decided you'd wear this, had picked it out from where it had hung towards the side and she'd even said please. Even if the skirt is so long that you nearly trip over it every time you take a step you'll wear it all night if that's what she wants. Walking is what heels and alphas are for anyway.

You don't look at Hoseok and Namjoon, you just look at Tae, thinking of your wedding. 'I'm gonna marry her one day.' You think.  

The whole pack bursts into laughter, and you realize that you've spoken out loud the same second that you trip, hands jerking to catch yourself on Namjoon's shoulders, regardless of the container of glitter that you hold in your hands. 

When you look Yoongi has more glitter covering him than a stripper would at Mardi Gras. More than they put on Edward Cullen in Twilight. Their laughter redoubles, and when Yoongi breathes out in a huff, his breath sparkles. 

"Jesus fucking Christ."  

Your cheeks are brighter than your skirt while Jin tries to clean off his thighs swatting the glitter onto the floor but everyone's laughing too hard to properly help. Yoongi repays their laughter by shaking his hair out over them much to their dismay.

Jungkook is hiccupping with how hard he's giggling, and you're all drunk and in love, and just- there is no harm in it, even as Yoongi sighs and Hobi teases, "You're like fucking Tinkerbell hyung." 

Tae doesn't do anything about your confession, doesn't do anything but laugh and tip her hip into yours, it's so much squishier, so much curvier than it once was. The hormones that have been doing her job in making her soft and supple. Curves that you can't help but feel a little bit later when she pushes you into the side of the couch, your dress and her dress mixing their colors.

"So, you wanna marry me huh?" She's so much taller than you, especially in the Versace pumps she put on. So tall and willowy it has you stammering. 

"Yeah," you say, a little breathless looking up at her. Gulping as she leans, pinning you there. "If Jimin will let me." 

Jimin hasn't seemed to notice that you're having any sort of conversation that should involve him at all, hasn't registered your words at all, too busy staring at Tae with an expression that can only be described as lovestruck, maybe utterly devoted. Your sentiment and want to marry her- hasn't struck him as strange at all. You guess you'll have to ask Yoongi first but when you turn, his cheeks are as pink as your dress. 

Jin lunges forward, miming the neck of a champagne bottle as a microphone, doing a silly voice. "Anything to report? any comment Yoongi- knowing that your mate wants to marry someone thats not you?" 

Yoongi huffs and it casts a new puff of glitter into the air, "she can marry whoever she wants. She's my mate but- if she wants to yeah-" His shoulders shiver, "we'll not anyone- obviously she's limited to the people in this room but-" 

Jin is giggling and so are you, rolling your eyes, "Obviously- not like I'd wanna marry anyone else than you guys-" Hoseok looks away and then back at you but it's a missed moment. Jimin tugs on the laces of Tae's corset and her slight intake of breath has you looking back up at her. 

“Did you have to do it so tight?” He asks, eyes on you. 

“That’s kinda the point of a corset alpha.”

And then- Hobi slaps the couch. A loud sound but a look says he's not angry, he's running his fingers through some of the glitters there, a little pile, uncovering the faint stain below. 

It's a blood splatter. Faded from where Jin poured a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide over it, but it's faintly there still. Soaked through the fibers and the foam below probably. Maybe all the way to the base and the springs. 

They washed it as much as they could, but they still couldn't get it out all the way. The couch, like a few other things in the house like the curtains- will have to be dealt with and disposed of one day. It is a kind of evidence. There's probably enough DNA to pull from it to be worrisome. 

“Can we like- burn this fucking thing already?”

He’s progressed past normal drunk to not quite able to stand on his own, might fall over, drunk. The glass in his hand sloshing with every movement as he leans over the edge of the couch. Hobi’s already got some on his cheeks, bright yellow gold that crests the highpoint of his cheekbones and the inner corner of his eyes. It looks like sparks a bit- especially with his red hair. 

Jin grimaces, “It was like totally soaked with blood. I did the best I could." 

"No one's blaming you hyung-" 

"Yeah you did like such a good job. It's just- still kinda covered." Namjoon's always trying to ease Jin's discomfort, encourage him, and that's still true even drunk.

“It's probably still got Namjoon’s cum in it from his last rut too.” Half the pack cringes and scolds Jungkook, but he's recalcitrant. "What? It's probably got your cum on it too- we kinda ruined it before the whole murder thing just saying." 

Jungkook hasn’t been drunk in years, he has the lowest tolerance among the eight of you. He bounces giggly, jumping from packmate to packmate, looping his arms around your shoulders and leaning so much of his body weight that you almost topple over, just giggling. Yoongi huffs, a little endeared and a little worried that Jungkook will actually make you fall over.

Jungkook does this to you alot. He likes to overpower you sometimes- not that the hierarchy still needs settling Jungkook just likes to hassle you.

“Hey!” Namjoon chirps from the floor as Jin carefully sweeps up some of the glitter and a few shards from the lamp that Namjoon broke. He’s too drunk to be properly scandalized. 

Yoongi sits back against the cushions, drink in his hands swirling. Ice clinking. “Yeah, let’s burn it.”

And burn it you do. The alphas try to lift it all together and almost fall over themselves, barely moving it even an inch before Yoongi decides to cut it up with his power tools and carry it out piece by piece. It makes a fucking mess in the Living Room before you lug it out to the squishy backyard.

Piles of stuffing litter the living room floor like dust bunnies and noodle swats at them, playing.

Yoongi's got the kerosene and you've got the match and the whole thing goes up in seconds, much to Hoseok and Jungkook's whooping delight. Jin's bundled in a blanket, but even he grins at the flames and the bad memories that burn away with it.

Hobi almost throws his car keys into the fire too but doesn’t. Whooping and waving his arms as the flames climb higher and higher. Yoongi squirts more of the lighter fluid until Namjoon says "That's enough" because a trip to the burn unit isn't what any of you want tonight.

The eight of you stand around it and watch it burn and then when you go back upstairs, Seokjin drags the mattress from your old bedroom into the big room- just like you did during Namjoon’s rut. Jungkook’s reallocating all of the pack's nesting materials to make a fort on the ground floor. Yoongi gets up on a chair to measure out where the studs should be so that he can use nails to secure a sheet to the ceiling like a big circus tent.

“It’s a fort hyung! It doesn’t need to be structurally supportive.”

Yoongi just pecks at Jungkook's head from where he stands on one of the pack's dining room chairs, "Not gonna let the world fall down on top of you bunny."

Tae asks Hobi to play bubblegum pop and they’re just so happy to see her smiling and acting anything like herself that they acquiesce to even her most ridiculous requests.

Hoseok turns the music up loud and you all fucking dance. You and Tae twirl and bounce, your big long skirts heavy and all big. Stained with a bit of mud at the bottom of the backyard. Namjoon makes both of you twirl and snag around your waists as you spin past.

You and Tae hop up and down, screaming along to the lyrics so loud that when it quiets- your voices are rough and raw. Chests a bit lighter with each screamed lyric, something awful working its way out of you with every laugh, something necessary in it as you grip each other's arms and yell out your frustrations against the speaker.

And by then Jungkook asks to wear a dress too- and then you’re really all having fun.

Yoongi is wearing a pair of Tae’s fuzzy knee socks and is dancing slowly with Noodle who chirps in his arms- apparently recognizing that your mate is too soft and squishy at the edges to be worth the hissing. Hair mused from some very involved kissing that you know Hobi dragged him away for.

Noodle keeps his claws sheathed for now as Yoongi dances although he does look vaguely annoyed. Like he doesn’t want to enjoy Yoongi’s touch but does. Watching you and Tae show Jungkook how to walk in high heels with beady yellow eyes. Jungkook gets it quick, quicker than you did.

Tae just nips at his cheek, a little bitey and a lot drunk. Jin and Yoongi have run out of frozen fruit so the drinks are a little stiffer. You’ll probably run out of alcohol by morning.

Someone will offer to drive to the nearest liquor store which will immediately be met by shaken heads and refusals, just this once- you can have alcohol and food delivered. Leaving the house right now still feels too scary. Too nerve-wracking.

Why would you ever leave when you have everything you could ever need, everyone you’ll ever love right here in this room? Wearing glitter and dresses and matching pajamas worn at the edges from love and cuddles.

Namjoon is wearing your bottoms. The very first courting present he ever got you, pink with red hearts. They're a bit tight in the ass and more capris, but they fit him either way. You watch as Namjoon’s fingers toy underneath Seokjin’s hem, splaying and petting a little higher. High enough to show a bruise that you didn’t know existed that lies against Jin’s ribcage.

For now, you’re all safe, and Tae tugs Jungkook upstairs in the direction of your dressing room. “Come on kookie I’ve got the perfect thing.” You know she's not tired of playing dress up with just you- she's just happy to have another canvas.

Tae has 7 other canvases actually, once Jungkook gets in on the dress-up, Jimin follows like the puppy alpha he is, and then Hobi and your mate, Jin, and Namjoon because they want to know what you're shrieking about upstairs. And come up to find Yoongi sprawled out on the floor, a fluffy something stuck over his head kinda making him look like a lampshade.

"It's not my fault your waist is like- super tiny. My head's just big."

And that’s how everyone gets in on it. Dresses and fancy shirts, bedazzled belts strung low over Hobi’s hip, and a silk scarf tied around Namjoon’s neck in a big bow. Jin ends up in a silky shirt that actually makes your heart stop, a glittery broach at the collar that Jimin toys with and Jin lets him touch to his heart's content. Dancing and dancing and falling onto the nest that you’re all building so so sloppy. Earning your first real laugh you’ve let out in days.

“Joonie? Can you please- I’ve waited forever to get my ears pierced and you’re like a surgeon- and you just look it up on YouTube and do it,”

You slip on someone's spilled drink almost tumbling into Hobi who goes to snatch your waist but misses. Giddy and giggly, “I can do it! I pierced mine once in elementary school but they healed over!”

“I don’t know if drunk piercings are the best idea.” Jin says, at the same moment that Jungkook chirps, “I’ll do my belly button if you hold ice to it."

Namjoon is the one who ends up doing it, with his gloves and antiseptic and numbing cream. You check to make sure Tae’s are symmetrical and then Jimin’s because of course he wants to be matching with her, then Jungkook and Jin, because they can be giggly and ridiculous too.   They’ve got high-quality surgical steal and fancy earrings upstairs that Jimin bought Tae during his mad dash to get her all the girl things after she came out (you're still honestly going through all of it). You give Tae the hoops because you know they won’t tug and pull on her hair and Jimin these little studs with a star on them.

Namjoon does it with a kiss on her cheek and a tiny gauze pad with barely a drop of blood on it folded and thrown away. “Good baby girl, was I gentle enough?” he was, he always is gentle enough.

By the end of the night, you’ve got a secondary piercing, and Tae’s already dreaming about getting more. One at a time Namjoon says, the edge of a pack alpha command in his voice. 

~-~

You wake with a pounding headache and to mimosas and a mountain of pancakes that Hobi practically forces down your throat to keep off the worst of the hangover. Until you feel like you might be sick and the pack piles in around where you sit in the bathroom to keep you company through your nausea. A bit more panicky and serious and sober than you have been. 

They stroke your back and pile the big blue blanket around you to keep off the shivers. But you don’t vomit somehow, drinking the electrolyte drink that Yoongi practically shoves down your throat. Quieter now that he’s sober but still unable to watch you suffer. Hand on your chin making you drink. You fall asleep soon after that again, overly full.

You sleep for 12 hours, and wake to the sound of retching, but it's just Yoongi- in a similar position as you are. Apparently he Jin and Namjoon stayed up while the rest of the pack went back to bed and decided to play drinking games that have turned into a bad decision. he'll need a shower before long.

He's not the only one whose in a bad way. Hobi wakes from the nest room staring at the ceiling listless. Still wearing the fancy designer clothes that Tae put him in under one of his hoodies. and you know without having to ask that he's thinking about her, about Moonbyul. 

But getting over this is going to be a work in progress. Everyone is good one moment and then bad the next, only to be good in an hour, laughing like you were never crying. 

Hobi doesn’t want to move, staring blankly at the ceiling Noodle purring against his hip and kneading him, putting holes in his pants. He can’t move from the nest fort in the living room, half open like a clamshell curled away from the entryway. Can't move until Jungkook gets you and you come close and he finally tears his eyes from the ceiling to look at you. You don't have to say a word to him you just guide him into a sitting position and let him rest his face against the crook of your neck. 

You help him take off his sweatshirt and when he nods that he's  ready, guide him up to the upstairs bathroom where tae is already showering off the scent of fire and glitter. You helped her take off her corset just the same, tugging at the ribbon until it fell loose because Jimin complained that he didn't know how to take it off without hurting the dress.

You strip all of them- Hobi and Yoongi and tae, and get them side by side in the bathtub. A firm layer of foam on the top from Jungkook's favorite purple bubble bath, and have a go at grooming them with Jin and Jungkook. Every inch of your alphas is inspected and tested with teeth and purrs. Hoseok closes his eyes to listen to the sound of them, just after Jungkook man handles the rest of the pack into the deep tub that Yoongi installed for this specific purpose.

Jin's purr is deep, yours is musical almost, and Jungkook's is really similar to noodles. He feels a hand on his cheek and knows without opening his eyes that it's yours rubbing away the wetness there. 

"Not crying cuz I'm sad just-"  he doesn't have to explain, doesn't have to do anything but close his eyes and let you make it better. If hurts could come out in the wash- you'd be able to get them out. You of all people know how hard it is for him to feel clean, the grubbiness of bad memories and old hurts that stains his bones.

And yet, you still wash him.

You rub a cloth over his shoulders, the tense part of his neck, his spine all gentle. Again and again until he starts to squirm- nothing about the touch, nothing about the grooming selfish. You ask him if he's done and he says not yet so you keep going until the waters gone cold and everyone else has gotten out of the tub.

Namjoon forces about a gallon of water down yoongi's throat, but the worst of the vomiting seems to be over. yoongi sleeps too- out of sync.

Love feels so tight in his chest that Hoseok can't open his eyes. He falls asleep there until Jin starts to tug at him, and when he opens them, he finds that you're in one of Tae's slip dresses- the kind that she likes to sleep in, translucent and soap sudsy at the hem where you got wet washing him.

His voice is croaky but he asks, "Have you eaten?" The answer, of course, is no. But he remedies it easily for you once he's dressed and scented sweet. An eye for an eye, a hurt for a hurt, and a heart for a heart. 

You order a new couch somewhere on the third day, blue this time instead of grey- to match the tile backsplash in the kitchen. With fabric that’s comfier this time and actually designed to be turned into a nesting nook when you need it. 

Yoongi puts it together sober and then takes it apart just to put it back together again- claiming that one of the legs is squeaky and the middle edge isn't flush. He's feeling better, less hungover and less angry. Happy to have something for his hands to do.

He still doesn’t talk to you more than a few words but he does ask “Hold the flashlight for me?” While Tae is upstairs putting away her torn-apart dressing room with Hobi and Jungkook. 

And you do help your mate- standing in your matching pj’s with clean hair and clean minds for the first time in days. Thoughts unclouded by terror or anger or alcohol. 

You hold his phone while he tamps down on the leg screws. the sound of the others laughing upstairs, both of you quietly accept for the clink click of the socket wrench. You hold the flashlight, hold it even when Yoongi drops his hands, not looking at you, squatting. It's quiet, Noodle sleeps in a puddle of mid-afternoon sunlight by the front door but it's morning for you- all of you slept till noon. 

“I need a moment okay just- give me a second, give me a few days.” You gulp and look at him. But it's as much as Jin has said to you too. As much as any of them have warned. “Give him time pup, he’ll come around.”

“Let me know when you want the next screw.” He turns around, still kneeling before you, hand on your ankle. Circling it slowly and simply. Petting over the ball of your bone and your Achilles tendon. Looking up at you and not saying a thing until you speak.

“You know I’m sorry for it right? That I regret it right?”

“Yeah,” he says, lips downturned “I know. Wish it hurt less that way.”

“If there was something I could do- something that would make it better- you’d tell me right?”

Yoongi pauses, his lips part for a split second and then go closed, and this time his cheeks go pink. But he sounds stronger when he says,

“Yeah, I’d tell you.”

~-~

But it does hurt less this way. All of your secrets and all your shortcomings are out in the open. Day drinking is either a fantastic idea or a terrible one depending on how you look at it. Because for the first time ever you all talk about it instead of keeping it bottled up.

The eight of you are piled into the kitchen, a second food order sits on the fringes in brown paper bags that Hobi doodles on idly with a sharpie, drawing bunnies and noodle and diamond rings and flowers- endless daisies. and then moves to doodling on Yoongi's jeans. Five days in and still completely unwilling to leave the house- still too scary, too many unknowns that linger just outside your door.

The 7 of them sit stretched between the cabinets while you bounce around above them mindful of not tripping on their sprawled legs, cooking up your tiramisu because Hobi had bragged about it and now they all want a taste.

You spin and turn, ducking and dodging needy hands. Jimin leans forward to sneak a quick peck against your knee when you’re mixing some of the egg whites. Jin gets up eventually to help, disliking the way that you teeter too pupish without a reassuring touch and your favorite baking companion at your elbow. Jin ties his apron around your neck and says. “Tell me what to do” Cooking with him is the most normal thing you’ve done in months. You have enough energy for it once.

“You’re making like a double batch, right?” You’re drinking less, all a little less intoxicated, you’d woken up this morning with a headache that faded and now you don’t want to drink anymore, done for the week and maybe the month. Maybe your whole lifetime after almost vomiting- was that yesterday? Or the day before?

“Hyung when I tell you you’re gonna wanna have the whole tray it’s like- so fucking good-”

“You talk a big game Hobi.” Jungkook looks like he wants to be a part of Hobi's big game. Scent swelling sultry and sweet.

There has been surprisingly less sex than you thought there would be although you know that Tae dragged Jimin upstairs late last night for a bit of privacy. It’s nothing like Namjoon’s rut. Without the alcohol, the pack is getting touchier. It’s strange- you almost would have expected them to want more while drinking but it didn’t happen that way.

Now Namjoon’s hand skims your hip whenever you walk past. Stepping over his thick thighs, squishy where they're pulled together to give Yoongi enough room. His hand comes up to toy with the edge of your shirt, A casual yet claiming touch that you pay no mind. Pinching the chub there and murmuring a quiet "fuck."

You raise your eyebrow at him, a bit self-conscious but still willing to let him do what he wants, "having fun Joonie?" You taunt. He leans forward, nose nudging under your shirt, dragging his teeth over the small swell of your stomach in reply. It's nothing new (well you being a bit chubbier is- but you're learning to live with it).

the mood is light until Jin asks you how you did it, how you killed the don and his beta. 

Your recipe book is open in front of him- and that has to be part of the reason why it comes to him. It’s not a secret anymore. Yoongi doesn’t look bothered as the pack quiets down and you tell them everything.

How Moonbyul convinced you to help her do it, how you actually killed them, how she disposed of the evidence. All of it. Jungkook's fingers come up to skim over the scars on your back and you catch his hand gently, taking it away from them because you don't want him to touch them now. 

It's the first time you've addressed the elephant in the room in 5 days and it feels- 

It feels good to talk about it. To get it off your chest. 

You've always told yourself that you had to kill them, it was either them or you, and they were bad people anyway. Who knows how many innocents had fallen under their hands- certainly more than have fallen under Moonbyuls. 

You did what you had to do to survive and there was no way out. But part of you has always wondered if that was true. 

The pack makes you feel like it is the truth. That killing to survive was all you could do. 

But it’s Hobi who bends forward along with Jin, “hang on hang on- fucking cupcakes? You poisoned the head of the fucking mafia using fucking cupcakes?” 

You blush, and Namjoon drags his finger through some of the whipped cream you’ve already made for the tiramisu. You gave him the bowl after you were done with it and he lifts it up to lick at the bottom, practically putting his face in the metal bowl. Jungkook licks the spoon and Tae tries not to watch his lips pucker. He fidgets, Thigh-shimming where he squirms tucked into Hobi's side. 

Jin's hand on his chin guides the alpha to look up, checking to make sure that he's alright. You don't have to wonder why because last night- Hoseok woke up from nightmares again. 

It was just like your nightmares. One moment you'd been nuzzling into him in sleep, and the next moment his hands had been shaking pushing you off of him. Smelling angry- his caramel scent going burnt and off the more he woke, you'd stayed up with him and piled blankets into the bathtub until he'd fallen back asleep again. Yoongi waited on the fringes with water until Hoseok had fallen asleep fitful- but asleep. 

He'd woken up without an appetite, but when you'd asked him he'd said the only thing he might be able to eat was your tiramisu, so here you are. Nightmares are easy to deal with, Hoseok's nightmares are something you can handle. 

“I bet they were fucking delicious.” 

“Thank you Joonie, they were.” 

Jin and Jimin are staring at you open-mouthed. But there are more questions- clarifications that everyone needs to ask. It feels good to finally talk about this freely. 

“Wait wait wait let me get this straight- Jin’s been working for the FBI for how many years?” 

“Only 6” Jin says at the same time Yoongi says, “6 and ½” and they shoot each other looks before Jin nods, and agrees. Eyes still on Yoongi. Jin and Yoongi are looking at each other with more love than is necessary. And Yoongi answers everyone’s unsure glances.

“I knew from the beginning and it didn’t matter.” Jimin bristles like it should certainly matter but Yoongi squeezes his good shoulder. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Yoongi furrows his eyes, looking at Jimin's shoulder, and asks Namjoon if Jimin's stitches are ready to come out. 

They are, so Namjoon gets his medical bad and Jimin takes off his shirt. A pair of forceps and medical scissors in his hands as he snips through Jimin’s stitches and carefully pulls them out one by one, wearing sterile rubber gloves but pausing to let Jin feed him more spoonfuls of whipped cream. 

“Yeah,” Jin says, contemplating. “It doesn’t matter. They were so like bureaucratic anyway." 

"You're not gonna miss it?" Jungkook asks, and Jin shakes his head.

"It's not worth it, I'll find something else to do, I've got like a stellar recommendation from them anyway." 

It’s not just that secret that you talk through; you also talk through jimin and yours. nothing hidden anymore. No reason to hide it.

“Of course, I recognized you Minnie- I met you before I met anyone else- Before I even met you Yoongi.” Now that- Yoongi really doesn’t understand. But Jimin is already explaining before he has a chance to ask. And by the end of it- Yoongi wants to drive hoseok's car into the wall, trembling with how angry he is at past you for being so stupid.

“A fucking bar? You met Jimin at a fucking bar and you didn’t even try and hide the fact that you wanted to kill my brother?”

“Well I wanted to hire an assassin and he was there so-“ 

“Of course, she was gonna hire an assassin hyung, her ex-husband was like a total dick- like even more of a dick than Moonbutt or whatever her name is.”

“Moonbitch Kookie.” 

You skim your fingers through Hobi’s hair, checking to see if he’s alright and he nods, catching your hand and pressing a fleeting kiss there. You need your hands to bake but Hoseok holds onto them a moment longer than is necessary.

“God that's so dumb” Jin slaps Namjoon's arm and he realizes what he just said, his shoulders curling in, “wait you are not dumb and I am just stressed because I’ve never made ladyfingers before- please don’t think I actually meant that-” 

Namjoon rolls his eyes, he’s well aquatinted to how punchy Jin can get when he's tired. That’s nothing new. Jungkook spills across Yoongi’s thighs in mock misery, but he doesn’t react beyond skimming a hand up Jungkook’s back, first over his tee shirt and then under it. 

Yoongi turns to you, where you hold a piping bag filled with creamy batter, taking even deep breaths as you pipe out the first few ladyfingers, showing Jin how to do it without getting bubbles in most of them. “You knew didn’t you?” He’s not accusatory. Just surprised. “That it was dangerous, you knew you could die and you did it anyway.”

You nod without pause, “I’d done more dangerous things by then, It was only a matter of time before someone figured out I’d killed the don and I wanted to make sure I got to see him die before they got to me.” 

Yoongi takes a sip of his glass, angry at you for making poor decisions back before he even knew you. Angry even though his anger has nowhere to go that's good. 

“You have to be more careful.” 

“All of us have to be more careful,” Hobi replies he doesn’t like the reproach in Yoongi’s voice. Doesn’t like the way he’s been talking to you. But all the anger and all the pain is healing (it's all just love with nowhere to go. All you have to do is give it time.)

The wounds on your hands are closing slowly- healed enough already that it doesn’t hurt when you hand over the piping bag to give Jin a chance to try. You've done the first 12 ladyfingers and he does the next two dozen to get the hang of it. When Tae asks, you show her how to pipe out a little heart, and then JK wants to make a dick-shaped one and you let him. He gets more of the batter on his sleeve, but you made extra just in case something like this happened. 

Jungkook sits up abruptly, wide bunny eyes dark and glassy upturned at you, glancing between you and Jimin, “What did- what does killing feel like?”

“Oh my god Jk you can’t just ask that.” 

“No, he can ask I just-“ Jimin swallows, and puts his hand down. He's holding a piece of gauze where Namjoon puts the small cut pieces of the suture. Tinged pink from a little bit of blood. His chest shines in the half-light, the little bit of antiseptic glimmering around the freshly pulled stitches on his shoulder catching the light. Jimin’s face twists in pain, but you know it’s not his incision that’s bothering him. Namjoon's gentle as he pulls the last one.

“I don’t want you to think less of me.” 

Everyone’s silent, no one rushes to reassure him, because the truth is that you don’t know. You put your hand over his squeezing- the best that you can offer. Jungkook pushes on, undeterred, “Tell us about the first time.”

“The first time was an accident- it was- before you guys just before Tae went to school- right when she started and I wasn’t thinking. Someone rushed at one of my private clients and I just-“ Jimin's eyes go dark and he picks at one of the stures until Namjoon pushes his hands away.

"You did what you were hired to do," Namjoon asks, and Jimin nods. You and Jin finish the tiramisu and Yoongi reaches out a hand to help you sit with the two big trays of it, portioning them out onto the plates.

"I protected them at a cost." Jimin stares down at his plate, the perfect square on it. and you nudge it until he eats it.   “That music executive” Tae blurts, eyes shining, connecting the dots “you were really quiet after you came back but then you got buys, I just thought-” She goes quiet when you feed her the first bite, letting out a surprised but appreciative hum, distracted by how good it tastes, "This is really good."   Yoongi huffs, rueful in his understanding. “All they really need is one kill on you and they’ve got you for good.” But that's all in the past now, Jimin is never going to have to kill someone again, even if he did get paid for it.

He lifts a fork to his mouth, pulling back after a second and furrowing his eyebrows. licking the cream from his lips slowly, eyes narrowing.

"Okay now I'm really angry, how have you never made this for me?"

"You never asked Yoongi."

"We'll I'm asking now, I can't believe you kept this from me for so long. Can you make it on my birthday?" You blush, bright red, and Jungkook leans over to press his nose into your flushed cheek.

Jimin answers Jungkook's question after a few bites. “It didn’t bother me, after a while it didn’t bother me at all" Jimin turns to Jin, eyes shining with unshed tears, "hyung, does that make me crazy? Does that make me a psychopath?”

Jin swallows softly around his bite of tiramisu, it really is quite good, top 5- if not top 3 on his list of favorite desserts you've made. “I’m not sure. There is an assessment as a part of the DSM-5. I could test you if you want. Although I’m not sure I could be totally impartial.”

Jimin looks winded, desperate from the line of hope that Jin dangles in front of him, a chance at salvation. Jimin has always wanted to know- in that same twisted way he’s always wondered if he and Tae were going to go to the same place when they died- if he was honest to god crazy. Jimin’s always wanted to know what makes him so different than other people. always looked for a reason and now jin might give him one.

“What do you mean by impartial?”

Jin sets down his fork. “Jimin, do you think any of us wouldn’t do what we had to do to survive I mean- Tae and Y/n killed someone over there 6 days ago. Do you think that makes them psychopaths? Do you think that makes them damned?”

Jimin’s chest heaves and he can’t answer Jin, But after a second, Jimin asks again, “You’ll assess me then?” Tae's fingers rub mindless patterns over the back of Jimin’s hand, her knuckles are still bruised.

“The next day we’re both alone in the house.” He grimaces, “It’s the least I could do after shooting you.”

Jimin whines, mood lightening. “Come on, you know I don’t take it personally.”

At the end of the day, the fact that Jimin’s a killer hurts less than you might think, although their pack has their own questions about it, Tae too, although her questions are limited, Jimin answers each of them truthfully and honestly. He'd never think of lying to her about this, not anymore, not again.

When it comes down to it there is a lot you’re willing to justify when it comes to the people you love and the people you choose. You’re all killers and liars and secret keepers. No true sinner and no true saint between the eight of you. It’s a good thing that you have more than enough love to go around.

Enough for a lifetime you think. You’ll have to wait and see.

“You realize everything you’ve said is insane right” Namjoon’s not angry, just tired and full as he sprawls out. Uncaring of everything that’s been said, unthreatened. “Like- actual mafia movie insane right? Are your names even your real name?”

Yoongi can’t keep in his snort. “Of course? What kind of question is that?”

You give them a look, “Actually…” The uproar is immediate, and everyone shouts their indignance and disbelief. All but roaring in shock, your laugh rings high and loud.

“Kidding! Just trying to lighten the mood!” Jin playfully drags you over his lap, swatting your ass playfully in punishment. Your laughing only gets louder. He leaves a coco-colored hand print on your white shorts.

Tae’s in more of a joking mood now, “am I allowed to use this for my next storyline?”

“Yes” and “Definitely not!” are mutual cries.

Maybe you don’t need to know everything about the person you love. Maybe love is just understanding someone’s secrets and loving them anyway. Maybe the biggest lie that Namjoon can tell himself- to preserve their family that they’ve forged through fire and fucking blood is that Jimin only ever had to kill when he needed to. He parts his thighs after he throws away his gloves- not even bloody, and Jimin slides in between them relieved.

His back resting against Namjoon’s chest, a happy growl grumble slipping out as he tests his hands, and Namjoon tests how far Jimin’s fingers can bend. “Pt starts tomorrow” Namjoon intones, a warning in his voice. Jimin nods, perfectly obedient.

“The rest of our lives start tomorrow too.” No one disagrees.

Jungkook is giggly and sits between Yoongi’s thighs, whipped cream on his cheek, they’ve already finished the first tray of tiramisu that you’d made and are making a serious dent in the second one. Cooking for them fills you with that same warm feeling as it always does. Cooking is a love language. food too. Your stomach is full of it.

“Hang on hang on- let me get this straight-“ Jungkook ticks them off one by one on his fingers. “Jin’s an FBI agent. Jimin’s an assassin. And you almost were one too?”

You roll your eyes, but nod anyway. It's truth enough- it's pretty obvious to you that's what Moonbyul and Hyejin had to slated for (privately Jimin wonders what your moniker might have been. Would you have been the flower to his snake? The dove to Hyejin's bumblebee?)

Jungkook points his finger at Hoseok next to you, the two of you share a fork and a plate smudged with chocolate and whipped cream. Namjoon has completely given up on portioning out his onto a plate and goes at the tray with Jin, a fork between the two of them.

“Hobi’s exes are the current head of a fucking crime family- and Yoongi’s like the heir to some fucked up advice column throne thing- that I still don't quite understand but- Has everyone been keeping something from each other this whole damn time?”

“Does mine even count? It’s not like I knew my ex was like- a fucking mafioso or whatever-”

“I mean- I kept the secret that I was a girl for like- my whole fucking life so I feel like everyone else gets a pass.”

Jimin combs a hand through Tae’s hair, looking down at her and rubbing away a smudge of tiramisu with his thumb. And you hit Namjoon’s knees with your socked feet. Your socks have strawberries on them and a hole at the toe. “You definitely get a pass baby girl.”

“What about you Joonie? Any secrets up your sleeve?”

Your pack alpha shrugs. Eyebrow's furrowing as he thinks hard about it. “I think the only secret I’ve ever kept from you guys was throwing out the lease that one time-“

“Oh my god I completely forgot about that-”   “Yeah, Jin hyung was so so mad. Almost as mad as Yoongi is.”

Your mate spills his plate with you quick he leans over to pinch Hobi’s scent gland. “Hey, I’m working on it!” 

His last bite slips off his plate and plops onto the ground. Noodle darts forward, trying to get to it before you snatch him back. Unfortunately, no one thinks to do the same with Jungkook.

The hardwood floors have seen worse things in recent days than some whipped cream and everyone lets out belated 'No!' and Gross Jk' as Jungkook leans over to lick it up. You laugh as Hobi snatches Yoongi’s plate and holds it over his head, almost dropping it on himself with how Yoongi lunges. And Jin holds his plate of tiramisu out of reach of their roughhousing.

You rest your head on Tae’s shoulder and watch your pack bicker and then shoot it out for the last slice of tiramisu. Yoongi wins and licks the tray clean, getting a tiny spot of cream on his nose that Jin kisses off. She laces your hand with hers.

Both of you have lipstick swatches from yesterday still on the back of your palms, the faint imprint of the colors of your kisses that her fingers trace idly, gently. The memory there for now but not for long.   “What about you Kookie? Any secrets tucked up against your sleeve?”

Jungkook presses a finger to his lips, almost coquettish with how wide his eyes go. “What hyung? Me?”   Yoongi leans into his space, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Yeah, seems like everyone’s got a secret but you.”   “Hyung, you know if I’ve got a secret- it’s one I’ll never tell.”

~-~

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Notes:

Trying my hardest <3 I'm admittedly having a tough time right now, this chapter felt very nice to write because it's all about the beginning of the packs happy ending <3

i personally think they should have all fucked on the floor in tae's dresses, but thats just my personal thoughts about it all. this is one of the few times that i have pictures in my head of the dresses that tae and the m/c wear but i cannot find pictures online that match for the life of me!!!

The moonbitch moment made it into the chapter- idk who it was that commented that but 😂 i lowkey loved it so it made it in <3

What i've been trying to get at with most of the yoongi/m/c healing arc in this chapter is that they both need to be fully actualized and fully realized players in their relationship. yoongi does not and has not told her his wants and needs very often in the story- and that changes after this chapter- because in the moment they're putting together the sofa he realizes 'oh i actually can tell her what i need' it's important to note that the mc has healed to this point like- earlier in the story she might have taken any request from yoongi as criticism.

idk if anyone saw where i was talking about the eventual like 50 year end for the story like- where i think they all end up. but knowing that tae, hobi, and the m/c are the last packmates left alive into their 80's makes the conversation about the m/c marrying tae and not hobi all the more like...ah, sad maybe? i originally planned for tae and the m/c to be the last alive but maybe it should be the m/c and hobi- do you think they'd get married after tae died?

i love that tae and the m/c fit the tall and short lesbian niche that i am so so into like- i know i went on a bit about them but they are very in love and their love story has been some of my favorite in this book. i felt like this chapter needed a bit of glitter.

idk if i mentioned tae having her ears pierced before- but just pretend that i haven't!

i added the part with the m/c washing hobi at the last minute but let me tell you that part did almost make me cry so...

i ended up having to cut the after part of this chapter, but i kinda like it better that way because then yoongi doesn't forgive her right away. idk, that was the main part i wanted to work on for this chapter so its kinda good that i get to wait a little bit.

i've been...admitedly, dangerously depressed for the last two weeks, and i think working on this chapter made me realize that working on bily, writing stuff, is legitimately the only time i am happy and one of like 3 things that makes me feel okay, i hope it makes you feel okay too <3

Until next time!

[multifandombitxh]

Name Calling

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst/Smut

Warnings: Foreplay, teasing, jealous!Eddie, very light smut, caught-in-the-act type shit

A/N: Back story is the reader was friends with Eddie before high school, but became closer with Steve, and Eddie hated his guts for it. Reader was also kinda friends with Reefer Rick, which is a slightly important plot point. Takes place when they find Eddie at Rick's house ✨

Summary: Eddie and the reader really, really fucking hate each other, that was obvious to anyone with eyes. They were friends once upon a time, but when Steve Harrington came into the picture, everything fell apart. Now, as the reader tries to help Eddie hide from cops, she finds an interesting way to keep them entertained.

18+ MINORS DNI

"What the hell is she doing here?"

"Um, saving your dumb ass, obviously? No need to thank me, Munson, really."

"Jesus Christ, Y/N, you know what? I have had it with you and your attitude-"

A chorus of groans filled the boathouse, the murky lake water splashing against the boat as Eddie stood. You had taken several steps closer toward him, but was forced to stop when Steve all but threw himself in between you both like a lion tamer. By now Eddie had stepped out of the boat and was making his way toward you, despite the fact that Steve stood directly in the way.

This wasn't going to end well.

"Okay, maybe now isn't the best time to be fighting," Robin said, a worried expression painting her features. "Like, maybe we should focus on what to do next? Something productive?"

"I can think of a few productive things I could be doing right now," You said through your teeth. "Several hundreds of miles away from here, preferably."

"Maybe you should go do them, then," Eddie replied, tilting his head to the side and pointing a finger to Steve's chest. "You can take your little guard dog with you, too."

"Really, dude?" Steve muttered, focusing his eyes on Eddie and shoving his hand away. "That's the best you can come up with? 'Guard dog'? What are you, twelve?"

"Sorry, should I have said 'mutt' instead?" Eddie antagonized, getting up close and personal with Steve. "Or maybe 'bitch' would be more fitting."

"Okay, you're done," Steve said curtly, giving Eddie a slight shove backward. "You really wanna do this right now? I will knock you straight into next year, freak, I swear-"

"Guys, come on, seriously?" Dustin yelled, "No one gives a shit that you hate each other. Y/N, we're here to help Eddie, not make things worse. Eddie, Y/N agreed to help. And Steve, stay out of it. So all of you shut the hell up and get over yourselves! We have bigger problems right now than your stupid love lives."

"Love lives?" You, Eddie, and Steve shrieked in unison as you whipped around to shoot him a look of disgust.

"Okay, bad wording," Dustin corrected, "But my point still stands, you three need to knock. it. off."

After holding a heated stare with Eddie for a few moments, you broke eye contact and spun around, exiting in a huff through the creaky wooden door into the cool night air. Steve followed soon after, hot on your heels. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed you by the wrist to stop you in your tracks.

"Come on, Y/N," Steve said softly, shaking his head. "Look, I'd love to knock that prick on his ass, but we came here to help, didn't we?"

"I did want to help," You replied, "But he clearly doesn't want it if it's coming from me."

"I don't get it," Steve sighed, "What's his deal? Why do you two hate each other so much? And what the hell is his problem with me?"

"I don't know, Steve, maybe it's because in high school, I started hanging out with you instead of him, and he never wanted to even think about sharing the same air as you," You replied, "Will you just find me when you're ready to leave?"

With that, you pulled away from Steve, making your way back to the car. You leaned against the warm hood and took several deep breaths, watching the lake that shimmered behind the boathouse. It was humid out, enough to make you break out in a sweat as you waited for the others to return. When they finally did, they began piling in the car, and when you tried to join them, Steve stopped you for the second time that night.

"I want you to stay here," He said quietly, his gaze intense.

"You're joking," You scoffed, "You want me to stay here? Are you insane, Harrington? After the shit that he just pulled?"

"You knew this Reefer Rick guy, right?" Steve asked.

"Well, yeah, a little, but-"

"Then you're the only person who can stay behind without it looking suspicious," He explained. "We need someone to keep an eye out for anyone looking for Eddie, and if they find you instead, it'll make sense that you're here. Look, I don't wanna leave you here with the guy, but it's our best chance of keeping people from finding him."

"Don't make me stay here with him, Steve," You almost whined, "Please, don't leave me here."

"We'll be back in the morning, okay?" He reassured, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "I promise."

As Steve climbed in his car and drove off into the night, you stood on the edge of the road, fighting the urge to scream up at the sky.

"I should've stayed home," You sighed before turning heel and walking back to the boathouse. Eddie was waiting for you inside, leaning back against a shelf and staring at the doorway like he'd been expecting you to walk through any minute. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his weight shifted to one side and a scowl on his face.

"Look, I don't wanna be here anymore than you do," You said as you entered, "So I'll make this quick. I'm not doing this because I like you, I'm doing this because they do. I'll be in the house."

"Good, awesome, stay there," Eddie replied, "I don't wanna hear from you again unless it's important."

"Oh, that reminds me, I do have something important to tell you," You said in a mock-cheerful voice. Making your way over to him, you got as close to him as you could without being on top of him. Eddie raised a suspicious eyebrow at you, then you flipped the bird in his face.

"Very mature, Y/N," Eddie said, rolling his eyes. "When are you gonna grow up, huh?"

"I'll grow up when you grow a pair, Munson," You replied with a sickeningly sweet smile.

Turning to make your exit, you left the boathouse in a hurry, walking up the dark driveway to the backdoor and entering the house. Dust kicked off of the door as it opened, making you cough. Stepping inside, you sneezed a few times before finally getting a good look at the place. You'd never actually been inside Rick's house before, just out back to hang out and smoke.

It was kind of a dump.

Walking to the kitchen, you opened several cabinet doors before finding glasses. Plucking one off of the shelf, you rinsed it off in the sink and filled it with water, gulping it down and setting the glass to the side. You took a deep breath in and held it for a moment before releasing it, closing your eyes and praying for this all to end soon.

You made yourself comfortable in the living room, sitting on the old couch and coughing again as a small cloud of dust filled the air. You sat up and dusted the couch off as best as you could before laying down across the cushions and closing your eyes. Within minutes you felt sleep overcoming you, which wasn't much of a surprise given recent events. For the first time in days you allowed yourself a moment to rest.

After a few hours of tossing and turning and waking up to every little noise, the sound of the back door opening made you jolt awake. Eddie walked through the doorway, making eye contact with you and quickly looking away. You watched as he made his way down the hallway nearby, opening a door and closing it loudly behind him. Sighing, you sat up straight and crossed your legs, now wide awake. It was beginning to get light out, a deep blue sky peaking through the windows and illuminating the walls. You reached out to the side table to turn on a lamp, the warm yellow light brightening up the cold room. The sound of running water came from down the hall followed by the sound of the door swinging open and a light switch being flipped.

At least now you knew where the bathroom was.

"Sleep well?" Eddie asked, leaning over the back of the couch to look down at you.

"Would be better with some peace and quiet," You muttered. Eddie rolled his eyes and rounded the corner of the couch, coming to sit beside you and crossing his own legs on the cushions.

A long, uncomfortable silence grew between you, making you toy with the fabric of the couch to try and occupy your mind. Eddie was sitting dangerously close to you, close enough that your knees touched. The longer the silence carried out, the more restless you became.

"Can I ask you something?" Eddie asked, breaking the silence.

You shrugged. "I have a feeling you will anyway even if I say no, so shoot."

"Did you know?" He questioned, his words slow and drawn out. "Did you know about this... Upside Down stuff? I mean, the Demodogs and shit, whatever Dustin called them."

"Yeah, I knew," You sighed, leaning back into the cushions more. "I really wish I didn't, but I knew."

"How do you deal with it?" Eddie asked quietly. When you looked over at him his eyes were fixated on nothing, his lips pursed in a thin line and skin looking paler than normal. "I mean, how do you even sleep at night knowing that shit is out there?"

"I don't," You scoffed, "Or I try not to think about it."

Eddie shook his head. "I just don't get it, man."

"None of us do, welcome to the club," You said, gently slugging him on the back of his shoulder. "Speaking of the club, what the hell was all that back there? You seriously wanted to fight Steve Harrington?"

"I didn't want to," Eddie said, "But I was ready to."

"You are impossible," You sighed, standing from the couch. "I don't get it, Eddie. You were my best friend. What do you have against Steve that made it so hard to be around me anymore?"

"For starters, he's an asshole," He replied with a chuckle, "Secondly, you never heard the way he talked about you when you weren't around. I was stuck in classes with him all the time his Senior year and it was miserable."

"Yeah? What did he say?" You asked, your interest piqued as you turned to face him. You crossed your arms over your chest and chewed on your lower lip, wondering if Eddie was telling the truth, or just trying to get a reaction out of you.

"I don't even want to repeat the things he said about you, Y/N."

Eddie's words hung heavily in the air, making you shift uncomfortably. "Can you at least give me a rough idea?"

His eyes snapped up to meet yours, a somewhat devious look hiding behind his gaze. He stood from his place on the couch, moving closer to you until he was so close you had to start backing up to keep some space between you. His hands were shoved in his front pockets, head cocked to one side as he kept advancing on you.

"You really wanna know?" He asked, his tone low and rough. You nodded as he kept backing you further and further away, swallowing hard. It was becoming more and more difficult to differentiate whether or not you were infuriated with him, or absolutely enchanted by him. Something in the air had shifted the second he stood up, and was ever changing as he closed in on you.

"If you really want to know," Eddie started, wetting his lips. "His favorite thing to talk about was how he couldn't help imagining how cute you would look sitting in his lap. Sometimes he'd talk about your pretty mouth, and how he always wondered if it can do more than just talk too fucking much."

"He did not say that, quit making shit up," You snorted. Your back collided with the wall behind you, gently knocking the air out of your lungs. With nowhere left to go, you watched as Eddie stood before you, placing both hands on either side of you on the wall, trapping you between his arms.

"He didn't, but I'm sure he wondered," Eddie went on, "I mean, who wouldn't? I'm sure he wondered about what you looked like writhing underneath him, too. Or maybe he couldn't stop thinking about what you sounded like while you're riiiight on the edge. I'd bet money that he's gotten off to the idea of you cumming so hard around him that you can't even think straight."

"Are we... still talking about Steve?" You asked in a small voice. Your entire body felt hot, like there was a fire lit under your skin that you couldn't seem to put out. It was hard to convince yourself that you didn't want him to rip your clothes off and have his way with you with the way he was staring you down.

Eddie leaned in, grabbing your chin between his fingers to pull you closer, the tip of his nose touching yours. "What do you think?"

With that, the gap between you closed, your lips meeting in the middle and your bodies melding together. You were basically putty in his hands, which were gripping your waist so tightly you thought your ribs might snap. His mouth moved against yours in a perfect rhythm as he turned his head slightly to the side to deepen the kiss. Your hands had made themselves at home by gripping the front of his jean vest, knuckles going white as he kissed you like there was no tomorrow.

The longer he held you up against that wall, the harder it became to slow your breathing. His touch was overwhelmingly intense, leaving you a breathless, gasping mess at his mercy. While one part of you desperately wanted him to have his way with you, another part of you couldn't help thinking back on all of the ways he had hurt you in the past, or made you angry, or treated you like his enemy rather than someone he was once friends with. You decided to use that anger, letting one hand drift up to his tangled hair. Gripping his curls tightly you gave them a harsh tug, eliciting a deep growl from Eddie.

His mouth abandoned yours when you pulled his hair, his eyes drifting open slowly and revealing a look of pure sin that made you shiver. Your mouth hung slack as he stared you down, your breath mingling with his and a jolt of excitement shooting through you. The hands on your waist drifted down to your hips and under your shirt, his fingertips sinking into your skin. You hissed as his rings made contact, the metal cold against your warm flesh.

"That's how it's going to be, huh?" Eddie asked, yanking you forward and grinding your hips into his.

"That's how it's always been, Munson."

Eddie emitted another harsh growl that mingled with soft laughter on its way out. You felt a familiar wetness pool inside your jeans at the sound he made alone, your arousal growing stronger when his lips collided with yours again in a heated, hungry kiss. Everything about the exchange felt intoxicating; the warmth of his hands sliding up your back beneath your shirt, the soft moans he let out through his nose as he kissed you, the way his bangs tickled your face. Everything was overwhelming and you couldn't keep it together anymore.

You wrapped your arms around Eddie's neck, effectively closing any space that remained between your bodies. He sighed into the kiss, pulling you away from the wall and moving you backwards until you found yourself in the hallway. He broke the kiss and grabbed you by the hand, guiding you down the hallway to an empty bedroom. A full-sized bed sat in the middle of the room, white sheets and blankets a mess and the pillows scattered about. It was a staunch reminder that you were in someone else's home.

"Eddie, I don't know about this," You said hesitantly, turning to face him. "I don't think Rick would appreciate us sleeping in his bed."

"Sweetheart, the last thing we'll be doing in this bed is sleeping," Eddie breathed in your ear, "What Rick doesn't know won't hurt him."

With that, Eddie gave you a gentle shove backwards, making you fall onto the disheveled bed. While you were busy finding your bearings, he climbed on top of you, making himself at home between your legs. His large belt buckle- a handcuff, how fitting- gently brushed over your clothed clit, making you gasp softly. You bit your lip to try and stifle the noises you wanted to make as he carefully pressed himself against you, the hardness in his jeans making it very difficult to concentrate on anything else. He let out a soft chuckle above you, making you very aware of the advantage he had over you currently.

"What's the matter?" He asked in a taunting voice, "Having a hard time imagining Steve in my place?"

"Oh for Christ's sake, I never wanted Steve," You snapped, slightly annoyed as you sat up on your elbows. "I don't know where the hell you even got that idea from."

"What do you want, then?" He asked. His eyes were lidded and dark as he stared down at you like he was ready to pounce on you any moment.

"I want you, Eddie."

"Do you... really wanna do this?" He asked, his tone a little more serious this time. You took note of the way his eyebrows turned up at the inner corners, a concerned look flooding his features as if he was realizing for the first time what he was doing.

"Yes," You said with confidence, "Yes, Eddie, I want this."

With the green light, Eddie was on you in moments, capturing your lips in yet another hot kiss as he ground his hips into yours, forcing a long, drawn out moan out of you that was muffled by the kiss. His mouth left yours to trail sloppy, wet kisses down the side of your face, to your jaw, before attaching to your neck. One of his hands was resting on the other side of your neck, his fingertips brushing against your jaw while he worked on marking your throat with his tongue and teeth. You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath, raising your hips up off of the bed to try and gain some friction where you desperately needed it most.

Eddie took the hint and used his body weight to force you back down into the mattress, his cock pressed flush up against you. Electricity shot up your spine at the sensation, butterflies erupting in your stomach as you threw your head back into the scratchy blanket. Eddie carried on grinding into you as he pushed your shirt up your torso, revealing your bra to him and making you tremble as his fingertips brushed your delicate skin.

"How cute," He said with a small smile, toying with the fabric. "You wear this little number for me?"

"In your dreams, Munson. I didn't even know I'd be seeing you today when I put this on," You shot back, rolling your eyes at him.

"You knew you'd be seeing Steve, though," Eddie said, drawing out his words. "Did you wear this to impress him, sweetheart?"

"God, when are you gonna stop talking about Steve?" You asked impatiently, sitting up on your elbows again to give Eddie a deadly glare.

"I'll stop talking about Steve when you start proving to me you don't want him," Eddie replied, a toothy grin on his face. "So far, I'm not convinced. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you started screaming his name instead of mine when I fuck you senseless here in a minute."

Your breath got caught in your throat. Was his always this... Perverted? You weren't even sure if that was the right word for it. Either way, he had a way with words, and without even knowing it, he had talked you into doing exactly what he wanted. Accepting the challenge, you shoved Eddie off of you, forcing him onto his back and swapping your positions. He sat up straight as you rested your legs on either side of his hips, sitting in his lap and kissing him hard.

Soft laughter echoed in his chest as you took control, all but ripping his vest and leather jacket from his body and tossing them to the floor. Eddie slipped his hands under your shirt again, lifting it over your head and discarding it with his jacket. His hands trailed from your collarbones and over your breasts, still concealed by your bra. You sighed into the kiss as he squeezed hard over the material, grinding down against him and smiling at the choked noise that came from his throat.

By now the sun was beginning to come up, and you guessed it was likely early dawn, maybe around seven. Eddie all but tore his shirt away, tossing it into clothing purgatory. An overwhelming need washed over you as he unhooked your bra then reached out to gently stroke your hardening nipple with the pad of his thumb. His lower lip was pulled between his teeth, a look of pure concentration painting his features, eyes glued to your exposed chest.

"You just gonna stare, or are you gonna do something?" You asked, eyeing him down and flinching when he gently pinched the tip between his thumb and index finger.

"You have no idea what I'm going to do to you, Y/N," Eddie sighed out, tearing his gaze away from your naked chest to look you in the eye. "Not a clue."

"Then maybe you should shut up and do it already," You replied, eliciting a toothy grin from him. As if something inside of him snapped, he was quick to move you out of his lap and onto your back again, harshly pulling your jeans from your legs, leaving you only in your underwear. The cool morning air hit the soaked fabric, making you shiver.

Eddie latched onto one of your nipples with his mouth, his tongue circling the tip softly. You couldn't help moaning and arching your back off the bed, letting your eyes flutter closed to enjoy the sensation. When his ringed fingers slipped past the waistband of your panties and glided over your opening, you whined noisily, your hips moving against your will. He still had yet to touch you where you really, truly wanted him to, and it was going to make you lose your senses.

"Eddie, please," You whispered, twirling a strand of his hair around your finger.

"'Please' what, sweetheart?" Eddie asked teasingly, looking up at you through his lashes. "You're gonna have to do better than that to get what you want."

"Please touch me," You sighed, every ounce of dignity evacuating your body and brain. All you cared about in that moment was Eddie; his hands, his lips, his stupid, shit-eating grin, everything was Eddie. Nothing else mattered, you just wanted him, and nothing else.

"Is that what you want?" He asked, "You want me to do this?"

As he spoke, his finger began circling your clit, egging a groan from you as he finally gave you what you'd been craving. Based on your reaction, Eddie seemed to give in, pressing more firmly against the nerve and spreading around the wetness found there. It was even harder to hold back now as your mouth fell open in a loud, breathy moan. As he kept up a steady pace stroking you, you couldn't seem to stop the noises that came out of your throat, broken curse words high-pitched whines filling the air. A moan of his own found its way out as he touched you, bringing his finger to his lips and sticking it in his mouth. His eyes were locked with yours in a heated glare as he sucked your juices off of his finger. The sight alone was enough to make your jaw drop.

"Oh my god, seriously, you two?"

Steve's voice startled you both, making you instinctively cover your bare torso with the blanket. He was standing in the doorway, a vase in one hand and an annoyed look on his face. Eddie helped cover you up, shooting Steve a look that could kill.

"Steve, what the hell?" You yelled back.

"I told you we would be back, don't give me that shit. I thought someone found you guys," Steve replied, looking anywhere that wasn't at you. "Would you two knuckleheads please just get dressed and meet us outside? Jesus Christ."

With that, Steve slammed the door shut, leaving you and Eddie in silence. You pulled the blanket up over your face, groaning into the fabric and squeezing your eyes shut. Eddie slipped under the blanket as well, trailing kisses up your middle until he reached your face. You opened your eyes and stared up at him, your lower lip stuck out in a soft pout. He smiled down at you and placed a long, sweet kiss to your lips before pulling back. He placed one hand on your cheek, his thumb gently stroking the skin there.

"Harrington can wait another five minutes. I'm not done."

[yes-this-account-is-alive]

aight i just read ur recent post and that "let's stick toilet paper in yoru's pants" line caught my eye. can we get a phoenix x reader platonic/romantic oneshot of that?

order up!

"Let's stick toilet paper in Yoru's pants!"

You both were lounging around in your room, holograms of schemes decorate the walls as you drew a sketch of Yoru's skinny jeans. A grin spread across your face as you added the details, Jamie cackled upon seeing the final product.

"I've got a whooole bunch of Elmy's glue leftover from my last work of art, we can use that!"

Opening your cabinet, you found the dozen of plastic glue bottles sitting there innocently. Too bad they were going to be used for less than innocent purposes. Jamie shoves them into his rucksack and you both walk out the door.

The soles of your shoes softly padded against the floor. A bit exaggaratedly, your partner in crime tiptoed with wide steps, bubbling laughter strains against your will to keep quiet at the sight. There really wasn't a need to be stealthy since most of the agents were either out on a mission or busy in their workshops and rooms. Still, to immerse yourselves in the "stealth mission", you both played along.

Arriving at the door, you find that it was left open, as usual. Yoru really never learnt his lesson, even with how much you enjoy pranking him. Maybe there's another reason to it? Phoenix rolled in, literally, and starts unloading his bag while you scour through the owner's rather punk closet and find his stack of jeans.

The two of you sniggered as you glued toilet paper all over the pants, not leaving a single patch uncovered. His calloused hands accidentally brushed against yours, causing heat to rise to your cheeks as you froze in place. He was about to make a comment before his eyes met yours and immediately averted, feeling his radianite powers flaring up though it seemed to be internal.

"A-anyway! It looks obvious now but don't worry... I've got a secret weapon!"

"Wait what-"

You pull out a spray bottle and cover toilet paper with little spritzes, they disappear upon contact with the solution. The duelist let out a soft 'woah' before getting to work on the rest of the garments.

Not long after the reveal of the 'secret weapon', you heard the familiar arrogant voice of the owner. Panic started to bubble up within you as you tried to make yourselves scarce. Phoenix hurriedly stacked the jeans back into the wooden closet as you scooped up the evidence.

"What do we do?"

The heavy footsteps of Yoru's boots were getting awfully close and you definitely couldn't get out the room without being seen, thanks to the design of the agent dorms. All rooms were in a hallway which only had one entrance, the only entrance also being the only exit. You cursed as you quickly pulled out another bottle of chemicals.

"Jamie, you might wanna hold your breath for this one."

"Wuh?"

Dousing the both of you in its contents, you dragged him as silently as you could out the door. You nearly screamed when you were face to face with the prankee, practically stumbling back as he walked past the two of you who were hugging the walls for dear life. Well, it was more of you two hugging each other for dear life with how narrow the corridor was.

You scrambled out the hallway with a very breathless Phoenix in hand, you both breathe out a sigh as the invisibility potion ran out.

"Yo, that was super cool! I didn't know you made ones that worked on people yet."

Sheepishly, you grinned at his enthusiasm.

"Yeah, I just made them last night. Still can't figure out how to make them work without the user needing to have the lungs of a navy seal, though..."

"Still pretty cool to me! That bloke didn't even notice us," he flung his arms into the air in excitement, yours following with.

Suddenly, your still interlocked hands became the target of your attention as you felt your heartbeat quicken. Just how long were the two of you... holding hands?! Touching hands?! Physically! Not in your imagination!

"When are the ones on the toilet paper gonna run out?"

You snapped your head back up to him.

"Ah, um. Perhaps in an hour when dinner is ready...! Uh... are you going to let go?"

"Let go of what?"

He followed your gaze and as soon as he processed it, he released his hold and your arm fell back to your side with an unceremonious 'plap'. The tips of his ears burn a dark maroon as he stuttered out an apology. You both looked at anything but each other as you gave excuses about things to do before heading to your respective rooms to scream into your pillows.

Jett, who was watching the whole ordeal from the couch rolled her eyes as she handed credits over to a smirking Raze.

...

The whole roster, minus a few of the anti-social ones were sitting around the dinner table, eating the food that Sage, Sova and Skye made. You would never understand how these agents all happened to share the same first letter for their agent names and knew how to cook.

Yoru stood up to get a drink from the fridge, only to hear laughter behind him as he was opening the door.

"Nice pants, riftwalker."

He looked down at his jeans to find pieces of toilet paper stuck to them. Anger courses through his veins as he instantly darted his furious glare to your usual spot, only to find it empty.

"[NAME]!! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"

[starryevermore]

Congratulations and so happy for your sleepover!

🌙 - prompt is l3. “can i go where you go? can we always be this close?”

I’m sure you guessed it but for Ari & Sweetpea of Let’s Ride.

Only if the prompt/pairing works for you! No pressure!! 😊

matching mugs

let’s ride ✧ a biker!ari levinson series | ao3

pairing: biker!ari levinson x single mom!reader

word count: 645

warnings: pet name (sweetpea, baby)

Date nights with Ari were, perhaps, your favorite nights. It wasn’t often that the two of you could go on a date, just the two of you. Both of you were busy with your jobs, you had Liam…By the time you finally had a chance to relax, you didn’t want to go anywhere. But, once a month, you and Ari would carve out a chunk out of your Saturdays to spend together. Liam would go over to Sarah and Bucky’s or to Jefferson’s or to another friend’s home, and you and Ari would have a whole evening to yourselves.

Date night wasn’t extravagant. It usually wasn’t. Neither you nor Ari were the type of people to go out to an expensive restaurant or spend an egregious amount of money on a date. That was the way you preferred it. You didn’t need grand gestures to know that Ari loved you. All you needed, all you wanted, was him.

Most date nights, the two of you would go to Redwing or browse the aisles of Target or go out for ice cream. But today was different. One of those pottery shops with the pre-made pieces that you could paint had opened up, and you’d been itching to go in and paint some things.

You had chosen a dish that was shaped like a flower, thinking that it would be a good place for you to throw your keys in when you first walk into your home. Ari picked out a pair of mugs, but refused to tell you his plan for it. Said he wanted it to be a surprise, that he was sure you would love it but he wanted to wait to show you the finished product. And, well, who were you to protest when he looked at you with his pretty blue eyes?

Ari sat across from you, the paintbrush looking small in his large hands. His tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth as he painted, completely focused on his craft. Every so often, you would look up, and wonder what it was that he was making. The question ate at you. You so desperately wanted to ask, but you knew he would only tell you you had to wait. So, you held your tongue on the matter, instead chatting about things that have been going on at each other's work, little things that have made your day, and the like.

Eventually, he finished, a proud smile on his face as he looked at his creations. He waited until you finished, showing him your dish. "That's so pretty, sweetpea," he said. "Almost as pretty as you."

Heat rose to your face. It was almost embarrassing how easily he had an effect on you, even after all these months. "Thank you, baby. What did you make?"

Ari spun the mugs around, and your hand flew up to cover your mouth. The first mug had a painting of a sweetpea flower, and the second had a painting of the logo for Falcon's Flock. "His and her mugs," he explained. "Wanted to do something a little more personal, though."

You squinted, realizing that there were words below the pictures. "What does it say?"

"They're lyrics to that song you always sing. 'Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close?'...It's a Taylor Swift song, I think," he said.

"Oh, Ari, that's so sweet," you gushed, feeling tears well up in your eyes. "Now I wish I made something for you."

"You already have, sweetpea. You've made me the happiest man in the world."

"Most people say that after they get married."

"Don't worry, we'll do that soon. For now, matching mugs. Later, we'll get matching rings."

"I love you so much."

"And I love you too. Now let's go pay for these then go get lunch, yeah?"

come celebrate my bday with me!

[enjeolmii]

10 questions - p.sh

synopsis: to ask questions isn't too bad. but to end up doing something you never expected from the intention behind every question? way better!

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

word count: 2.4k

warnings: make out sesh (not written in depth), lots of teasing but it’s all playful you nasty

"Next question! Did you like anyon-"

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? I'm supposed to go next." Sunghoon blocks you with an audible tap on the soft mattress, tsk-ing at your smooth but not slick enough scheme to get more answers from him.

It's a Saturday - the day of the week when assignments, works, chores, and duties are temporarily thrown down the window. On these days, you and Sunghoon go on a carefree date. It's a routine you made once a week to maintain your relationship amidst the setback caused by lockdown, and it was going great.

At a time when real interactions between people became an inappropriate thing to do, and everyone turned to technology as a resolution, you made sure that everything is done by Friday, despite it being so dreading, just so that procrastinating wouldn't be a problem dragged over the next day. And when those pressuring times occur to you, you would send each other texts, exhorting to go easy on yourselves. That's why Saturdays are the only thing you wait for every week. You weigh it up as a chance to see the only light that keeps you going, the one that helps you see clearly the path you are taking in this obscure world.

So here you are with Sunghoon in your bedroom, sitting on the bed and leaning on the wall beside it, covered in your blanket as you cuddle under the warm, comfy covers. The day has been an uneventful one. If not for him reminding you of the conversation you had prior in the week, where you asked him to gather questions he had for you, you would have slept the whole day over without accomplishing anything.

"Fine, what's your eighth question?" You admit, frowning at his attentive remark, and he snickers.

He lifts his phone and scrolls through the questions he has saved in his notes. "Have you ever had a dream about me?"

Your eyes roll around with a finger on your chin, recalling the scenarios you had of him. There were many, some surrounding the time when he decided to confess to you, and most of them came from the fantasies you had of him. Those dreams scare you more than the stare of a fiery lion. It almost even feels illegal to think about it because you aren't well over twenty. Though they were just outlines of you and him kissing innocently, you always end up making out at the end of the story.

You weren't one of those twelve-year-olds who've had their first kisses already. Your mother kept a close eye on you in situations like this, so you would rather make out with your pillow than hear her nagging your ears off. Because of that, you grew up as a child unbothered by her love life, and the mere thought of kissing someone in real life makes your hair stand up. That's when you knew he brought out a lot of changes in you.

You swallow the lump of saliva in your throat. "Yeah, I have." You answer truthfully but still cautious of the words you put out.

"Really?" His head perks in your direction. "What did I do?"

You got a little nervous knowing he would undoubtedly interrogate you on this. But thankfully, you were prepared with a streamlined answer. "That's three questions, genius," You say, reaching for his head to give it a light smack, from which earns you a groan. "Save your chances for better questions."

"What do you mean? It's a good one. What did you dream about? I want to know."

"Okayy~ Next question. Where is that..." You switch the topic hastily, hands occupied with finding the question you were waiting to ask him through your notes. "Found it. Did you like anyone before me? If so, who are they?"

"That's two questions, though?"

"Nope. Not if you put them together." You smile at him cheekily, and he throws his head back in astonishment, mouth wide open, spewing out breathy wow's.

"You're playing it dirty, I see. Well, I had two other girlfriends before you." He brings his pinky finger out. "One was my sixth-grade classmate, and the other one was my best friend from the rink." He shoots his mouth off to chaff at you yet again.

A stiff frown crawls on your face as you nod at him sarcastically. "Oh, wow. Impressive." You hum in wonderment, silence unfurling in the suddenly insipid room.

Sunghoon knew you weren't easily irritated by these circumstances. If he were talking to a random girl on the street, more often than not, you would only think of them as one of his fans from the arena, nothing more. Even if he had to accomplish things with a girl in his class, you trusted him very much with your relationship to doubt him in his actions. And so, seeing you hush after a talk like this...

Of course, he would take it as a chance to play with you.

"Aww, is my precious little y/n jealous?" His voice sharpened one octave higher as he pats your head with a pout and mock sadness in his eyes. "What do I do? I kissed them, too."

You were okay with him having two other ones before you, but at the mention of a kiss, your figure skews his way. You weren't sure if he was hoaxing you or not, but to say so honestly, it troubled you. This wasn't the intention you had with your question. All you wanted to get out of it was something to tease him about when he says he has none, yet it was still you who got ragged of your own query.

However, that's beside the point. Was it necessary to point out those last words? It wasn't you to be agitated over something as dispensable as this, but of all things, why did he have to attack your weakness?

Sunghoon's sounds of laughter tear you away from your thoughts. "Got 'em~" He pulls a finger at you in another fit of laughter, seeing you in a state of total shock.

"What the heck? It was a lie?" You pull away firmly from his body, hitting him on the shoulder with force enough to make him wobble on the bed.

"You fell for it." He provokes you, head bouncing up and down in silent titters, and you smack his hand away, leaning back down on his shoulder.

"No, I didn't," You feel him nod abut your head, seeing mentally what teasing expression he has plastered on his face this time, but you only shrug it off. "Which part was the lie, though? You kissing them or being with them?"

"Can't answer that. Save your chances for better questions, cutie."

"Touché," You scoff. "What's the next question?"

"Well, since we came to the topic of kissing... When was your first kiss?" He converts his stare to a peer of glistening fervour. Though not as subtle as he would have probably wished it to be, you could sense the perceptive intent he was hiding behind his tone.

You render motionless. Never did you tell him anything about your dreams, nor would you ever have plans to tell him. It's a product of your wildest imaginations to feed your untold desires. It's what helps restrain the ungodly in you, but it also fuels you with the need to see what it actually is like. It's a continuous internal war going on in you, its purpose being to stop you from creating trouble for yourself. And now that you finally have him here, not going to lie, it's kind of embarrassing to acknowledge the profuse amount of dreams you had of him, moreover that he stole your first kiss... Except it was in your dreams, literally.

"I never had any," You answer, trying to stay as cool as possible. "I'm a good child who listens well to her mother, so don't think no one tried to hit on me once. I turned a lot of them down." A small smile trudges its way onto his face, but the way his eyes were fixated on you remained untypically the same.

"I don't know if I should be happy that you picked me out of all of them or be sad for those 'poor hearts' you broke." He draws an air quote along with his words, and you shake your head at him. "Don't worry. I won't tease you on this one. I just wanted to know." He mumbles quietly through a simper, moving to rest his head on yours.

Hearing that he'll cut you some slack relieved you, but one thing about his utterance caught you off guard. "Why do you want to know that?"

"That's the only way I'll get to know you deeper, Einstein," He retracts his head and nudges you on his shoulder, causing you to bump your head against its edge, a grunt following you. However, while you were still in the midst of justifying the whack he did on your head, he spins his vision to you in an adventitious celebration. "Oh- that's your tenth question, then!"

"Wait, hold on!" You haul over to straighten your posture, the creaking of the bed barely audible from the loudness of your opposition.

"It's my turn again." His eyes grow invisible from his cheeks, pushing it up into a smile. He just never gets tired of making fun of you. How you wish you could do the same to him. If only punching someone straight in the face denotes no wrongdoing, you would have done that ages ago.

"Bitch, why did you answer that?" You call him, blaming him with the irritation that you weren't able to control yourself.

"You ask, I answer. Isn't that how it goes?" He grins at you matter-of-factly, and you tousle your hair around in frustration.

"Ugh, you're crazy," You send glares up his way. "Whatever. Your last question, throw."

As if that was a signal he has been waiting for, Sunghoon shuts his phone and tucks it in his pocket. "How does it feel to kiss someone?"

You were confused. You just said you've never kissed anyone before.

A dry giggle leaves your mouth after much processing. You knew you shouldn't have trusted his words. No matter what you do, he'll find the cracks and holes to slip in his every jest. "I think you got the wrong person, kid. How do you think I'd know?"

"Hmm..." He drones, the ticking sound of the clock suddenly increasing in volume with every minute passing by. "Should we try it, then?" He suggests.

"What?" You were taken aback, a sudden chill sweeping through your body like a surge of cool air gashing through the enclosed room. What is he going on about?

Inch by inch, you feel him gravitate towards you, your torso backing up from his inclining frame until the warmth you caused on the cold wall completely presses against your back. Like the fire of a gun's bullet on a steady path, your heartbeat raced in a trice. His eyes stared at yours, tracing down to your parted lips as he led his other hand across your body, trailing up your arms to your shoulders, just until it reaches your jaw. Your breath hitched, lips shutting tightly as you gulp down at the presence of his queer boldness.

It's like the scenarios you formed in your head where he pins you against the wall, lips hovering yours with soft breaths that tickle your skin. Him studying your face with obstinacy to make you his, doing whatever it is that would make you happy. Nevertheless, he made sure to be cautious of things you wouldn't want him to do. He still respected you.

He's doing just the same thing, and it's getting you set on thinking whether this is all a dream taking too long to reach its climax or if your dreams are miraculously made into reality. But his next set of words were enough to tell you the clarification to your uncertainties.

"Please don't be mad." Without warning, his lips found their place on your light, pillowy ones. It felt like he was pouring out all emotions he's been holding in until now. He always controlled himself whenever you're around because he didn't want to disappoint your mother. But with this instance is a chance to do something he has long been dreaming of. He wasn't about to lose it.

The way his head tilts to the side to get a more comfortable position, eyes closing and immersed in the pleasure of your lips against his, got you clasping onto your blanket to ease the havoc he's causing in your guts. You froze at the contact. As if time had halted and the world stopped spinning, everything seemed to slow down at that moment. Maybe it was the sweet scent of his bergamot fragrance. Maybe it was the tightening of his grip on your jaw, or perhaps the longing you had for him that's enticing you in this position.

It's not every day that we get to see our dreams come true, and for one, it's a matchless feeling, especially when the dream is worthwhile. Slowly, you give in and close your eyes in the warmth of his touch. His lips parted to bite at your lower lip, and you overtly open your mouth to let him in.

"Do you think you could answer it now?" He questions you, but you couldn't comprehend what he was saying. You were too caught up in your own feelings during the whole session; you almost forgot what happened before it was done. Just when you thought he’d stop pulling out all the hidden quirks of yours, he caught you once again. And it didn't take long enough before you recollected yourself.

"Right. It's way better than I could have ever imagined." You smile at him, giving rise to the same smile as you.

"If this is how it will usually end, maybe I should start gathering more questions for you." He proposes, his head wheeling over to you with sheer excitement.

"Uh-huh... Just make sure you don't catch anything from the streets before you come over." You reply with a cackle, getting off his lap and sitting back down on the soft mattress.

It was supposed to be a dull and boring day. But with another chance that you two meet comes another something to remember forever. And you can't help but grin from ear to ear.

[barsformars]

Expectations

// 

g - angst, comfort(?)

p - yunho x reader

w.c - 1.2k

t.w - (self doubt?)

c - compliments can give people strength but the future expectations that come with it can weigh one down and cause one to beat themselves up just because of a small hump in their journey; tldr -> yunho's mentally and physically exhausted.

a.n - hihi! just a piece i wrote late last night because,, thoughts. i hope everyone remembers to be gentle on yourselves, and like my dad always tells me (and now what i tell others): challenge yourself but within your own personal limits. it’s okay to be disappointed in yourself if you truly think you could have done better but if it is because you didn’t live up to other people’s expectations of you then fuck them! the more you blame yourself because of that the blurrier the line between self satisfaction and satisfying other people will be. 

t.l - @closer-stars @jeongyunhoed @fromercury

//

His feet dragged across the floor all the way to your bedroom where he finally allowed himself to completely let go and release all the tension in his sore aching muscles as he falls onto your bed, it is rare that he gets to do so without having to first check whether San was in the top bunk or if any other members were following him into the room, and it's already rare enough that he feels like this. It's not that he didn't like to be vulnerable in front of them, he just couldn't bring himself to whenever it boiled down to this same problem he was facing right now because he knew that it would shake the team's confidence and energy for at least the next week. Words like "because Yunho can grasp the choreography really well really quickly, we feel assured," and, "we are always grateful that we can rely on him," they do give him strength to continue working hard, but sometimes, it's nothing more than a heavy burden placed on him, felt like an ankle weight was tied to his feet, preventing him from executing the footwork properly.

As those words replayed in his head — a reminder that he should probably be spending this time doing something more productive, that he should be using this time to clean up his dance moves because at least one person would be coming to him for help tomorrow — Yunho shrinks as he curls into the fetal position, the heels of his palms pressed against his eyes. Even with his body closed up like that, he still felt like he was going to fall apart if anything or anyone gave him even the gentlest of a nudge, this was already the best he could manage in holding himself together.

Yunho knows that this was not the end of the world, no one was going to blame him for not having perfected the choreography already, no one was going to be disappointed that he couldn't help them either, in fact Hongjoong would probably tell him: "It's alright! We can all learn it together slowly and patiently, we will get it eventually." And Yeosang, who has always been the best at footwork, will probably be more than happy to lead the dance practice yet again. Yunho knows, but he can't stop himself from feeling like he wasn't doing his best. If only his body could withstand a little more...

His palms are now warm and wet, without warning, and without a sound. No shaking shoulders, no shuddering breaths, no tightness in his throat, no burning sensation in his nose, the tears just flowed down silently and slowly, whether he liked it or not. Yunho stays frozen in that position for a little while as he let his tears do whatever they wanted because if he even had enough energy to wipe them away he would rather conserve it so he could get to the kitchen and pour himself a glass of water. And when he removes his hands away from his face, he heard the front door opening and shutting, and just the thought of being in your warmth almost caused him to burst into tears again.

You noticed Yunho's shoes thoughtlessly kicked to one side and how his bag was randomly dropped in the middle of the hallway, and your heart ached for him. You already knew that he wasn't feeling good because Yunho was always honest about the reasons he wanted to visit you for, and while it wasn't your first time seeing him feeling down, this was just...bad. You quickly made your way to your room where you knew he would be, and when your eyes met his swollen ones, there was no need for spoken words, not yet at least. So you put your bag down onto the floor and sat yourself down on the edge of the bed, allowing him to lay his head on your lap. Your fingers were already caressing his hair, that honestly still felt a little moist, an evidence along with his slightly sticky skin that he had spent quite some time in the dance studio earlier on. It worries you, because Yunho almost never gets this stressed out when it came to dance, or did he perhaps dance to get his mind off whatever it was?

Yunho's eyes are closed just like when he was alone a little earlier, but this time his tears stay trapped behind his eyelids, though his nose ached a lot more now. "Do you want some water?" You asked, hearing how he was starting to sniffle. He sat up (very stiffly) and you took it as a yes, your toes already pulling your bag closer within reach so you could pull out your bottle of water.

"Do you want to talk about it? Or is me being here enough for now, or do you just need some alone time?"

Yunho scrunches his eyebrows as he gulped down a large mouthful of water, it was much more painful than he remembers it being the last time he had a good cry. He opens his mouth to speak, and then he hesitates for a little, blinking multiple times as if trying to piece the words together in his head. You don't pressure him.

"I just think I'm being stupid right now, I know what I'm feeling is so dumb and irrational but I can't stop myself from feeling like this. I know if my body is this exhausted it must mean that I did indeed gave it my all, but I can't stop feeling that I could have been more productive. I don't mind being this tired as much as I do about not feeling like I did my best. And I can't help but feel like I'm not doing anything to contribute to the team right now. If I can't even get those steps down, then I don't deserve the 'main dancer' title, and I don't deserve having the members looking up to me."

You suddenly felt guilty for thinking that there was no way Yunho would get this distressed over dance, thoughts and expectations like this from everyone who knew him probably contributed to the growing expectations that he felt pressured to meet. Of course even Yunho would face problems when it came to executing certain moves, he may be a very good dancer but there is no dancer out there, anywhere, who could master every technique of every genre of dance there was. People forget that dancers are always constantly learning, heck, everyone is constantly learning as they go on in life, mistakes are allowed.

"It's not stupid, Yunho. Your feelings are valid, everyone wants to be the best version of themselves but, Yunho, a moon is still a moon in all of its phases. Just because you're struggling with a few dance steps does not mean that you are not a good dancer, or a reliable member to your other members. You are still you, and with time, you will master those moves and shine brightly like you always have. Besides, you are not just the 'main dancer', you are also a good vocalist, a positive influence, and most importantly, a human."

[candysims4]

And that's why I always message people non-anonymously and love when others do the same, because if people are horrendous enough to send hate - do it at least openly, otherwise it makes you hypocritical wusses.

Good for you that you turned off anonymity, and I highly recommend you to keep it that way. It's not worth your precious health to deal with a bunch of wusses who can't do anything better with their lives.

You are amazing! Your creations are amazing! You are valid! Scream it louder to the crowd and most importantly - to yourself. Always remember that.

I wish you and your family good health and happiness. Take good care of yourselves, and God bless you all.

First of all, sorry for the very very late reply.

My head right now is like a big mess, unfortunately, the medication isn't doing any effect; but no worries, I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, and hopefully, they will give me a solution for it.

Well, now there's no more the anon option, even on my site.

Because clearly, not everyone is so comprehensive and worried about me like you and a lot of followers/patrons that I am very glad to have in my life. (I love you all so much!)

As the hate/passive-aggressive messages could not stop I decided to choose to preserve my mental health and remove the feedback form option from my site, that was the last anon option that I have not touched hoping that if I explain how I'm feeling people will understand that I'm a human being too as everyone is, of course, that was a looooot of people who understood, but, there are those who don't understand (or doesn't care) that is pretty hard to be creative and do everything you meant to do when you are having an anxiety crisis or feeling depressed or trying to adapt your body to a medication that has side effects that influences a lot in your day.

I don't know why people become without empathy for others when comes to complain when they have or do not things they want, such as new content or the delay for finish the "hair color updates" if they have the anonymity to hide. I'm trying my best for do everything I need to do, but unfortunately it isn't easy as some people think. After my post about my mental health, I talked with a lot of people who have disorders like mine and they sent me their ways to calm down and it’s helping me a lot. Thank you all for your kind messages!

Of course, I don’t have any problems with people asking me about the updates and when the new content will come out, being a patron or a follower asking for free releases and etc... But when comes to people behind the anon they usually are very aggressive or passive-aggressive, and it can hurt a lot, it hurted me a lot. 

05/08, 11 pm: I’m editing this post for shorten it a bit in you guys’s dashboard, correct the writing that I noticed that I forgot to put or/and past here correctly and also tag advising this post is about mental health and depression.

I use Grammarly *not a sponsor hahaha* for write down everything that I post, in a way to learn English and avoid my dislexia to make me write something wrong or making any sense at all.

So, there’s more text below the cut. 

To see my progress, I'm writing down what happens and how I feel, let me share a bit with all of you:

02/08, was basically me having a very bad crisis and feeling very worse every time I remind myself that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do. In a huge looping of bad feeling. At the same time, I was wanting to get up and do something I was also wanting to lay down and only cry. I feel horrible at the end of the day, that I basically wasted doing nothing productive.

03/08, I woke up a bit better, have done a nice sketch of swimwear and tried to do it, everything was doing pretty great. I listen to music good part of the day, which makes my day always better. And then my email notifies me of a feedback form, I was on a break from working on the swimwear so I decided to at least read it... After reading everything the bad feeling from the last day is coming back, I started to feel upset again and it's getting hard to not come back crying; in a mix of sadness and disappointment, with me and with the person who sent the form, with me for not having done everything I'm supposed to and with the person, for how they treated me as custom content worth more than my mental health and how I'm handling with all of it. 03/08, 2am... I'm still wake, as now I'm with insomnia. I'm trying to get better slowly, trying to organize my head before the storm that was having another anxiety crisis mixed with depression. But I'll be ok, because I'm not alone.

Thank for your message dear, because it was the first message I read in my inbox after reading the passive-aggressive feedback form and meant a lot for me seeing that there's people on my side and these people doesn't need to hide their identities because they aren't afraid of saying what they're saying and worry about me (also reminds me to worry about myself too).

Also thank you for your good wishes, I wish for you and your family the best too. 💖

This part bellows this text is written in 05th August, as I’ll explain my last days have been busy.

Because the new house doesn’t have the safe installation for the shower, we had to call an electrician, and today he took an entire day for doing it and a lot of repairs to the house's electrical system... So, I got offline all day long watching my son trying to be an electrician helper plus running across the house trying to also not let him hurt himself. 

Also, I thought I have put the reply in the queue list, but clearly, I just saved it. 

And as yesterday (04/08) I got to the psychiatrist I have started to take a new medication, that fits better in what I'm feeling right now, an anti-depressive that I don't know why I find the name funny (I'll put a photo below, don't mind my hand please, and wow, how the photo got big in text posts, sorry about it guys) and I’m really hoping this medication helps me without all those side-effects that was messing my mind totally.

For not having any more problems such as confusion and amnesia with the Clonazepam was decided that I'll no longer take it daily and only when the crisis comes and, in a lot, smaller quantity. This makes me feel very relieved because the Clonazepam was only making my day worse (with the confusion principally) and not helping at all with the anxiety crisis.

But I still taking Clonazepam, removing one drop a day, today will be 5 drops; so, it’s half of the way, as some days ago I was taking 10 drops. I’m still with some side effects, but a lot better. Soon probably it will finally get better.  My body is also better, and now most part of the body pain is from moving house hahaha

[george5259999]

Week 10 - Completing the Loop

Week 10 Activities - Short Reflection

For the final tutorial, we were tasked with cleaning up a 3D scanned object, and slicing it in Cura.

As well as manipulating and slicing the example model that Rob Provided (Images) , I was actually lucky enough to ask my friend to scan my foam model, and I was then able to print my own bottle out on my Prusa Mini FDM Printer. For the scanning, they used a RevoPoint Pop scanner, which worked in a similar way to UNSW's Einscanners - just on a budget. After converting the point cloud to a mesh, I sent it to Cura and sliced it at a 0.15mm layer height and 10% infill. After a few hours, this is what I ended up with.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish my model, as I had no fine sandpaper or any primer to coat it, however I was really fortunate to have my 3d printed model.

I really wanted to end this term right, and figured if I had the tools on hand, I might as well use them to the fullest. Besides getting the materials to properly finish my model, I don't think I would change much from this week if I could do it again. Although I wouldn't consider my product perfect by any means, it was the first time I could say that I completed a conceptual design to my fullest capabilities. It felt very satisfying knowing that I was involved in the product from its inception, to the physical models on my desk.

Overall Course Reflection

When I first enrolled in this course, I was worried that I would be behind from the first day. I think its normal to feel a bit of imposter syndrome when entering unfamiliar territory. I really wanted to go into this course with determination and enthusiasm to learn, and I gained a lot of confidence when the classes started. Everyone in the Industrial Design faculty was really welcoming and supportive, and I definitely felt included and involved in the course content.

When comparing my progress to the learning objectives and the marking rubric, I can honestly say that I felt like I achieved these set goals. Model making and sketch modelling have been such rewarding skills to learn, and they are so multifaceted in their use. From developing skills with my hands like drawing and carving, to communication of these designs through posts like this, IDES1262 has encapsulated the importance of perception in design, and overall presentation.

Even beyond the rubric, I have definitely gained a lot of creative inspiration and confidence, and this course has definitely put design thinking into the forefront of my mind. I find myself thinking about applying these skills and methods into my course work and into personal projects at home.

It was nice to come into this course with a base level of knowledge in many of these topics. In the first few weeks of sketch modelling and engineering drawing, I definitely felt at home when sticking to the rules and guidelines of technical drawing. When it came to sketching and freeform drawing, it took me a bit more time to get into the nuances of it all. Eventually, I realised I needed to stop being so strict and uptight in my drawing. I think this was one of the most valuable lessons this course has taught me. I usually get very attached to concepts and drawings, but by taking a step back, this course made me realise that concepts can be improved and iterated much faster when you fail faster. From traditional drawing techniques, foam model making, and digital design, I definitely gained a lot of useful information which I feel elevates my current understanding of these techniques, and I look forward to utilising them in the near future.

The middle third of the course definitely felt like my weakest section, as it was the area I had the least experience in; but it was also my favourite as a result. Being challenged in a particular area can always be rewarding, because it is where I saw the most improvement over the weeks. To further develop my skills, I have set the goal of practising freeform sketching and using markers to accentuate my pieces. I want to set up a place to store these images, to later reflect on them; similar to this blog format, as I have found it greatly rewarding. Creativity is definitely like a muscle that needs stimulation and use. I find that my other coursework can lead to this skill lying dormant, so it is my responsibility to find ways to use it for personal projects; especially if I want to peruse a career in Engineering Design.

As an aspiring Engineer, I believe that Industrial Design and Engineering should have a more collaborative and symbiotic relationship; and I really hope that I get to work with more creative minds like yourselves in a professional environment; and even interact with the Faculty of Built Environment more during the rest of my studies.

Thank you Rob, Gonz and Tom for taking me in as one of your own for the term, and for the informative advice and feedback. And thanks to everyone in class who asked questions, left feedback on my blog posts, and also in person for the first few weeks. Overall, I am stoked that I got to take this subject as my free elective, because it was informative, insightful, and a great creative outlet. Hope to see you all around on campus when things get less grim and Uni opens again. Maybe I'll catch some of you at the makerspace. Stay safe, and best of luck with the rest of your time at UNSW.